TopheryG8er

World renowned proponent of a McDonald's McCafe reward points based economy

[TopheryG8er @TopheryG8er]

My autobiography, "Too Gay To Piss, Too Straight To Shit: An American Tragedy" hitting the shelves this Fall.

[TopheryG8er @TopheryG8er]

One of those Mastercard advertisements where the punchline is: “Watching Jack Nicholson use the N word on the Disney+ app? Priceless.”

[TopheryG8er @TopheryG8er]

@MattHayesCFB

[TopheryG8er @TopheryG8er]

New business idea: Foreskins, but for your nipples.

[TopheryG8er @TopheryG8er]

It’s almost impossible for me to slip and fall, no matter the terrain, because my large muscular penis acts as a harmonic balancer.

[TopheryG8er @TopheryG8er]

@crypto_div @AnthropicAI

[TopheryG8er @TopheryG8er]

@TheZlatandiego An entire room full of Rick Wells spiritual successor.

[TopheryG8er @TopheryG8er]

@chris_hummer @CBSSports @JTalty @mzenitz @cooperpetagna @247SportsPortal @MikeRoach247 @RJ_cfb @ShehanJeyarajah @bmarcello @GrahamHall

[TopheryG8er @TopheryG8er]

@BillTsamis @JBudDavis The facts are undeniable, try to keep up Bill.

[TopheryG8er @TopheryG8er]

@JBudDavis [In a dark room watching the field goal to end the USF game over and over]

Back, and to the left.

BACK, and to the left.

BACK. AND TO THE LEFT.

[TopheryG8er @TopheryG8er]

From the author of “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck” Mark Manson’s new release, “It’s My Bathroom Sink I’ll Piss in it if I Goddamn Please” will be hitting shelves in Spring 2026.

[TopheryG8er @TopheryG8er]

You ever know you’re going to have one of those sticky playdoh texture shits before it happens? What’s up with that? Is that just me? Is this how I find out I’m an x-men?

[TopheryG8er @TopheryG8er]

@DKThompson https://t.co/N1mZYaFrar

[zlatandiego @TheZlatandiego]

Hearing we have massive news on the way. Could happen in the next few hours. Possibly the next few days or weeks. Not allowed to tell you who or what yet. But when it happens, remember that I’m the one who predicted it.

Smash that follow button for more scoops.

[TopheryG8er @TopheryG8er]

The real fright this Halloween was finding my first gray pubic hair.

[TopheryG8er @TopheryG8er]

@TheZlatandiego @tatereeves MRW

[TopheryG8er @TopheryG8er]

@TheZlatandiego 👀👀👀

[TopheryG8er @TopheryG8er]

@TheZlatandiego I see the hard work you are putting in as a hater and I really appreciate it.

[Frankie MacDonald @frankiemacd]

People in Japan know who i am

[TopheryG8er @TopheryG8er]

@TheZlatandiego That’s Jake Slaughter you idiot.

[TopheryG8er @TopheryG8er]

Also, mithril wasn’t a metal that was mined out of the ground, it was calcified dwarf cum. The “mine” of Moria was actually just a giant dwarf goon cave.

[TopheryG8er @TopheryG8er]

A little known LOTR fact is that when Frodo got stabbed by the morgul blade, the poisoning actually made him cum his pants uncontrollably.

[TopheryG8er @TopheryG8er]

They shortened the sequence and made it less explicit for the movie, but in the book it’s like 20 straight pages of lil homie riding a horse nutting his brains out