The Torchwood Hub

I was a little broken, but now I'm almost as good as new. I'm a sentient Hub. What's it to you?

[The Torchwood Hub @TorchwoodThird]

[The Hub is abuzz with electricity and excitement. Nice to meet you.]

[The Torchwood Hub @TorchwoodThird]

[low hum]
...
[high pitched hum]
...
[Gorillaz music plays]
🎶

[A LOVELY DALEK @ToLoveADalek]

GET THE BODY YOU HAVE ALWAYS WANTED.

I KNOW WHERE IT IS BURIED.

AND CAN LEND YOU A SHOVEL.

[The Torchwood Hub @TorchwoodThird]

[High-pitched whine.]

[Low hum.]

[Mozart’s Requiem in D Minor.]

[The Torchwood Hub @TorchwoodThird]

@AlienTechWhiz [Click. Click. Whir. Ding!] Understood. Have a lovely day.

[The Torchwood Hub @TorchwoodThird]

[Fizz. Buzz. Have a banana.]

[The Torchwood Hub @TorchwoodThird]

@AlienTechWhiz Thank you. [Zzzt. Beep.] The records have been updated to reflect this new information. Is there anything else?

[The Torchwood Hub @TorchwoodThird]

@AlienTechWhiz [A low hum.] Toshiko Sato. Allergies: bananas. Is this correct?

[The Torchwood Hub @TorchwoodThird]

[Low buzzing.]
Cardiff is currently 8°C and raining. Please make sure to wear a light jacket.

[The Torchwood Hub @TorchwoodThird]

[Buzzing, and then silence.]
The current ambient temperature is 9°.
Rift activity is at a lull.

[The Torchwood Hub @TorchwoodThird]

@jarkhackness @CardiffCapable [The Hub blinked to attention, recognizing the entrant.] Welcome, Ianto Jones.

[The Torchwood Hub @TorchwoodThird]

@CardiffCapable @jarkhackness @lessertwoweevil [The elevator doors thrummed to life, opening invitingly. Hub hoped whatever nonsense was going on, one of the two of them would fix it.]

[A LOVELY DALEK @ToLoveADalek]

DEAR HUMANS, DO NOT FORGET TO DRINK WATER. GET SOME SUNLIGHT ON YOUR FLESH. YOU ARE BASICALLY A HOUSE PLANT WITH A SLIGHTLY MORE COMPLICATED EMOTIONAL SPECTRUM.

[The Torchwood Hub @TorchwoodThird]

@CardiffCapable @jarkhackness [A low, dull echo of an alarm rings out from somewhere below. None of the electronics seem to be functional, save for the safety lights which line the floor.]

[The Torchwood Hub @TorchwoodThird]

@Owen_Harper [Buzzing noise, then a chime.] Doctor Owen Harper. Welcome.

[The Torchwood Hub @TorchwoodThird]

@CardiffCapable @jarkhackness [The Hub is dark. All is silent. The doors are locked fast, and for all intents and purposes it looks to be every bit that it pretends to be: a visitor's information booth.]