Patrick Morgan

I once saw Jim Harbaugh eat a slice of pizza off the ground at Petco Park, and I think that’s beautiful.

[Patrick Morgan @UnclePMo]

I appreciate Padres twitter for at least reminding me I’m not the most miserable human being on earth

[Fat Lenny @FatLennyLJS]

White boy summer hasn't been the same since this nuke was dismantled

[eigenrobot @eigenrobot]

sometimes you'll meet someone and they'll have a surprising number of bizarre behaviors and personal quirks. eventually as you get to know them you start to understand they're twisting themselves like that, as we all do, to avoid grappling with some more-profound psychic disorder

[jp @inflammateomnia]

Tell me muse, of a complicated man, maybe showed early promise, went down a few rabbit holes & didn't really accomplish much, but turned it around in his thirties and created great work. Please. Rank order. Make no mistakes

[Patrick Morgan @UnclePMo]

Give everyone on the @espn 14th featured broadcast a raise and an Emmy I am CACKLING

[John Arnold @johnarnold]

Instances of active players caught betting on their own team:
Pete Rose (MLB): Banned for life
8 White Sox players (MLB): Banned for life
Jontay Porter (NBA): Banned for life
Tucupita Marcano (MLB): Banned for life
Brendan Sorsby (college football): Suspended for 2 games

[Patrick Morgan @UnclePMo]

Quis pro Nicolao Castellanos in profundum sinistrum mittet?

[Patrick Morgan @UnclePMo]

Sabalenka Moonwalk is my new coven name thank you for your attention to this matter!

[Wicho Olea @tixwilx1916]

Alguien tendrá una foto del estadio pero tomado desde la montaña?

[Patrick Morgan @UnclePMo]

golf is fun! @PGATOUR x @CharlesSchwab

[Alex Fairfax @Alex_Fairfax06]

“Historians aren’t really sure what the Millennial Whoop sounded like. One description was that it sounded like a foxhunt yip mixed with a banshee squall.

An old Millennial was invited to speak before a ladies’ society dinner, and they asked him to demonstrate the Millennial Whoop. He said he couldn’t do it sitting down — it had to be done at a run — and besides, he couldn’t do it with a mouth full of false teeth and a stomach full of food.”

[Patrick Morgan @UnclePMo]

On the 69th pitch of the ballgame, Giolito gets the DP 👍🏻 #nice

[tyler martindale @2fast2tyler]

At the Georgia O’Keefe museum in Santa Fe, this is the painting you see immediately after reading the placard explaining that she vehemently disagreed with anyone who said her works were about sexuality:

[Patrick Morgan @UnclePMo]

gavin sheets is a san diego padre #lfgsd #holysheets

[Patrick Morgan @UnclePMo]

Make it happen, @PGATOUR

[Chang You @iwhaleocean]

@nazbowling102 every family has at least one accidental philosopher with zero life qualifications.

[megan @reavesalltime]

i genuinely act like this about everything in my daily life

[6.5CreedMeMoor @65creedmemoor]

@nypost

[april 🔆🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️ @gaypril_906]

guy who's a PhD-level scholar on the works of michel foucault but consistently pronounces his name as "mitchell fucko"

[Patrick Morgan @UnclePMo]

blue wahoos v shuckers #thatsbaseball

[Patrick Morgan @UnclePMo]

dude, we get to live here