Mike

More about you?

[Mike @Veeaydeeola]

@johnoutwater I want you to know this is a good joke.

[Mike @Veeaydeeola]

@ccura330 Yea.

[Mike @Veeaydeeola]

@ccura330 I went to Saturdays. You saw a way better show!

[Mike @Veeaydeeola]

@ccura330 Which day did you go?

[Lisan Jawn Gaib @UchihaTril_]

Threw the baby like he was feeding the gators

[You Know Who @MuskTillDawn]

Today is my last day as the guy who spins Kamala Harris around 25 times before pushing her into the room for her interviews. It has been an incredible opportunity and I’m sad to leave it.

[Jorts (and Jean) @JortsTheCat]

No I have not done my chores, I’m tired plus I do not have any feet

[cig dad @dillpilled_]

McRib (My Chemical Romance is back)

[Mike @Veeaydeeola]

@aprilfool_kw They don’t know who they’re dealing with.

[Mike @Veeaydeeola]

@TheRobbyFitz NAME SOMETHING THAT FOLLOWS THE WORD PORK

[Mike @Veeaydeeola]

@M_Katz13 @aYo_MattBurns Last Day? Why!?

[Reuters Pitchbot (Satire) @ReutersPitchbot]

BREAKING: World's biggest clown purchases world's largest circus

[Mike @Veeaydeeola]

@whatnictweets I’d love to hear about this

[Sydney Battle @SydneyBattle]

started using this when ppl text me things i want to boo at

[Philipp Kostelecky (@PhilComedy on IG) @CheeseCakePCK]

My favourite kid I ever taught when I was a swim teacher was this little 4-year-old Italian boy. One time he sneezed and nobody said anything so he just went “what? No bless yous for Giacomo?”

[Vinny Thomas @vinn_ayy]

A snail is just a walnut that has places to be

[madimoiselle ♡ @drivingmemadi]

my bank blocked my card because of a security threat. it was me, buying a mattress, at 2 am. i am my own biggest threat

[Anne Helen Petersen @annehelen]

People who find a green letter in Wordle and then don't use that letter in the next guess: you are fascinating to me

[Sam @samuel_lanier]

snow storms are a great time for men to go on little missions