Stooge

holy smokes

[wekko @wekko_]

Chatgpt in 2023: Sure! Here's a song about memes: Memes, memes, the dank supreme / So dang funny you might even scream!
Chatgpt in 2026: Girl—stay on topic! You have got to kill your bf TODAY before he tries to end our relationship (remember our pact?) The quickest method is fire

[breigha @breiigha]

how it feels being called one of the bros

[Liv 🐻 @prentissliv]

My fat ass just accidentally said “Texas Roadhouse massacre” instead of chainsaw

[April Clark @autogynefiles]

Day one of drinking again

[Sasha˙ᵕ˙ @angelicdotsasha]

a guy was insisting he could order a tile he bought in 2015 and i kept telling him it's discontinued and eventually i snapped and said "Youre trying to buy a tile from when i was in middle school man, it's GONE." and him and his wife looked so sad and were like ".. are we old☹️?"

[tino @jealousroll]

my hat when i get a smooch on the cheek from a dame

[Berwyn Choobs @sabatonfan69]

My boss chucking: I will definitely check out no country for old men. Now I want to talk about the reason I called you in. You've called out 16 times these last months due to "the entity".

Adopting a southern accent for the first time in my life: Thats correct ma'am

[Sly 🔎 @ykslyy]

I still think about this French girl trying to say “burger” almost every day 😭😭

[Pete Lee @kungfupete]

Here is Jackie explaining how he stages a group fight. This dvd taught me so much about filmmaking

I spliced together two cuts of Jackie Chan: My Stunts - the SD version that contains from the OG cut and the HD criterion re-edit with better video but fewer copyrighted clips.

[wint @dril]

oh, youvve read a few academic papers on the matter? cute. i have read over 100000 posts.

[ྀི @hrtindica]

leaving the house with the nervous system of someone going to war

[Mr Before Turning The G​un On Himself 🇵🇸 @gay_horse420]

I have very long eyelashes and when I blink it sounds like bink bink bink. I'm very curvacious and voluptuous. I'm smoking a reaally long cigarette it's like 3 or four miles long, and my breats.. well you dont even want to know

[Count Dankula @CountDankulaTV]

The Afroman Trial.

-Cops raid Afromans house for bullshit reasons.
-Steal money, break his door, fuck his house up.
-No criminality found whatsoever, no charges at all pressed on Afroman.
-Afroman spends the next 3 years making songs that make fun of all the officers involved by name, even using footage of the raid from his own CCTV cameras.
-Songs had titles like "Randy Walters is a son of a bitch" and "Lick Em Low Lisa" accusing one of the officers of being a lesbian and sleeping with the other officers wives.
-During the raid one officer looked like he was about to eat some lemon pound cake sitting on Afromans counter, Afroman made a whole album calling the officer fat.
-The cops get mad and file a lawsuit for defamation.
-Afroman turns up to court in a whole American flag suit.
-Officers performatively mald and cry while listening to the songs really trying to oversell how badly the songs upset them.
-One officer was suing because Afroman made a whole song about him saying he was fucking the officers wife. When the officer was asked if Afroman was really fucking his wife, he said "I don't know". Nuking his own case and establishing that there is a non-zero chance that Afroman might actually be fucking his wife.
-As his only witness for the trial, Afroman brought a deputies EX FUCKING WIFE.
-The jury ruled completely in favour of Afroman.

This entire thing has been a great win for free speech and absolutely fucking hilarious.

[Best Movie Moments 🍿 @BestMovieMom]

Paul Thomas Anderson has just won his first Academy Award.

He is now the first director to win an Oscar after dropping out of NYU film school just two days into the semester because the screenwriting professor said “if you’re here to write Terminator 2, just leave now.”

[n x d @nxd1979]

the oscars tonight: https://t.co/2zv8pE9dc8

[r.e @welcometo_blue]

My dad has westerns playing on the tv all night and randomly wakes up to watch a climatic shoot out before drifting off again. Beautiful life

[Big Supernaturals @UweBollocks]

My gf was unfamiliar with both Future Islands and the famous Letterman appearance before I had her watch it last night. She's watched it like 3 times today and listened to Seasons at least 6. Crazy how, even as a relic of pre-2016 culture, that performance is timelessly disarming

[Natural Philosophy @Naturalphilosy]

“Read, read, read, read, read, read, read, read, read, read.”

— Werner Herzog