Vlad

[兔兒神 @chenchenwrites]

I don't think it was pain that made him so great, I think painting brought him whatever happiness he had.

*

RIP David Lynch

[walker @walkercapl]

me: Come quick. I see something Lynchian
wife: Is it another bug crawling in the dirt
me: [getting angry and lying] No It's something else

[Zach Dunn @zachbdunn]

Water isn’t for putting out wildfires. It’s for powering a machine that lets me hear what it would sound like if Cartman read my grandpa’s will

[charlie @chunkbardey]

if someone leaves your life it’s often because the actor playing them is getting cancelled in the real world

[Vlad @VladimirFFFFF]

josephine giving a pep talk: is your name napoleon or napoleoff?

[Vlad @VladimirFFFFF]

when they keep changing your name in the group chat to Malcolm

[Vlad @VladimirFFFFF]

messaging everyone on facebook marketplace and asking if they will honour boxing day

[Vlad @VladimirFFFFF]

me (sleepy): maybe all those great epiphanies i had while high were because weed made me sleepy

[Michael Raphone, Sr. @michael_raphone]

wanna see something cool, kid? *opens desk drawer revealing a tiny, bustling city* oops wrong drawer *opens other drawer and there's a gun*

[Ramp @Rampaganimation]

@ok_but_still Still never getting over when my therapist just said word for word “damn man, that sounds like it sucks”

Rhotan I miss you

[Vlad @VladimirFFFFF]

@InternetH0F it’s for number 3

[Vlad @VladimirFFFFF]

my toxic trait is expecting winter to be over after jan 1st

[Vlad @VladimirFFFFF]

brain: do you have the keys? did you bring your keys? did you bring the keys?

me: one would hope 😌

[Vlad @VladimirFFFFF]

need a jacket made out of umbrella

[Douglas A. Boneparth @dougboneparth]

Daylight savings is not enough. You need to be daylight investing.

[Vlad @VladimirFFFFF]

dreaming about living in a white void with a diffuser in the center but i can’t let go of all my trinkets, knick knacks and thingamajigs

[✧✦✧✦✧ @VOIDTHROAT]

hey, sorry for the late reply, i allowed your message to pass through my mind like a sparkling-scaled trout in a clear mountain stream

[pj @pjayevans]

Hey man be careful taking a nap. One of my buddies had a dream where he was getting chased around

[Skyler Higley @skyler_higley]

best heckle of my life. I just did the setup to a joke and a drunk lady in the front shouts out “that’s too niche!”

[Vlad @VladimirFFFFF]

this whole time i just thought i was always sleepy, turns out i actually need glasses