Wasp Eye

Born again liar, original account inaccessable

[Wasp Eye @Wasp_eye]

It's not written out yet, but I've been telling some amazing tales about fighting junkies in a car park

[Wasp Eye @Wasp_eye]

One of my staff called in sick, then posted Facebook pictures of herself up the Blackpool Tower 2 hours later. Then denied it. I'm in love

[Wasp Eye @Wasp_eye]

She can count in colours, and won several rap battles. She's a 30 year old white woman

[Wasp Eye @Wasp_eye]

I've managed to employ someone as bad as me. Example; I can speak fluent mandarin.
(go on then)
I can't do it on demand

[Wasp Eye @Wasp_eye]

A new lie... https://t.co/tUHRVy6HxL

[Wasp Eye @Wasp_eye]

@danjan13 @jessarrison @robbiebloc @KeetPotato @shutupmikeginn @jazmasta @FrenulumBreve why does @EndhooS get (good)

[Wasp Eye @Wasp_eye]

Today I returned, so it turns out I have something wrong with my heart and need more tests

[Wasp Eye @Wasp_eye]

Today I returned, so it turns out I was just dehydrated and stressed and am still fit as a fiddle

[Wasp Eye @Wasp_eye]

Today I returned, so it turns out I may need a heart bypass

[Wasp Eye @Wasp_eye]

Today I returned, so it turns out I have something wrong with my brain and I need more tests

[Wasp Eye @Wasp_eye]

@profanityswan if it helps I showed up today with four different reasons for my collapse

[Wasp Eye @Wasp_eye]

The only thing that could kill me is like extreme trauma or a beheading or something

[Wasp Eye @Wasp_eye]

Doctors mapped my genome and said I was the healthiest and strongest man they had ever seen. I can't even catch cancer.

[Wasp Eye @Wasp_eye]

(and I failed to tweet Friday that I collapsed again in the hospital that morning)

[Wasp Eye @Wasp_eye]

I live!
There's a bitter irony to my collapse on Friday, coming as it did within 48 hours of me saying....

[Wasp Eye @Wasp_eye]

Well I am being taken to the hospital for tests

[Wasp Eye @Wasp_eye]

Wait a minute... Paramedics seem to think I am lying about how shitty I feel!

[Wasp Eye @Wasp_eye]

Maybe it's not just my lies? I've gotten worse every time I speak to someone about my lies though

[Wasp Eye @Wasp_eye]

I'm lying down. An ambulance has been called. It is possible that my death is being livetweeted

[Wasp Eye @Wasp_eye]

I've been found lying on the floor in a pool of my own sweat