Wesley Fuertes

Facing life's struggles with wisdom, virtue and Jesus.

Well, at least I'm trying to 😅

[Wesley Fuertes @WesleyFuertes]

How to actually stick to your habits:
Don’t commit to finishing.
Commit to starting.

What this practically looks like for me is only committing to the first 5 minutes of a new habit.

For example, I had a goal to have a cleaner home, so I’d set a timer for 5 minutes and clean until it went off.

But usually I’d be halfway through washing a dish and think, “I’ll just finish what I’m doing.” Then I’d see one more thing that needed to be done. Before I knew it, I’d been cleaning for 15–30 minutes without meaning to.

The hardest part is often starting, not continuing.

It's basically the "one more turn" mechanic from Civilization, but instead of stealing your time, you’re using it to build momentum.

Hope that helps, friend!

[Wesley Fuertes @WesleyFuertes]

@alexandr_wang AI is making it easier than ever to get what we want.
That's equal parts awesome and scary. Why?

Because getting what you want is only a blessing if you’ve learned to want what is good.

It's like having a personal genie. You have to be careful what you wish for.

[Wesley Fuertes @WesleyFuertes]

Before he was 30, Tom Brady had 3 Super Bowl rings.

“God, there has got to be more than this?”

Also Tom Brady.

He went on to win 7 Super Bowl rings before retiring.

Do you think he ever found it?

There is no achievement big enough to satisfy us, in the same way there is no meal so good that we never get hungry again.

As soon as we get something good, we want more.

And more.
And more.
And more.

Finite things can’t satisfy an infinite hunger.
Only something infinitely good can do that.

[Wesley Fuertes @WesleyFuertes]

Stuck doomscrolling?

Here's the quick version. Make doomscrolling annoying and get micro wins as soon as you wake up.

Track those tiny wins for a week and focus on rebuilding consistency, not reinventing your whole life overnight.

Start by proving to yourself that you can interrupt the pattern and keep this tiny commitments to yourself. I hope this helps! Godspeed, friend

[Wesley Fuertes @WesleyFuertes]

How do we bless those who persecute us?

Here's one way.

When you are in an argument and someone says something mean to you, don't

be mean back
pout
play victim
be passive aggressive
ice them out.

Instead, take a breath, pray for them and be good to them.

What does that look like?

Ask God. How can I be good to this person? Then do it.

The key part of this is training yourself to take a breath when you've been attacked.

I don't always do this well, but I'm trying to be better. Hope that helps.

[Wesley Fuertes @WesleyFuertes]

In sports, you contend for the championship ring.

Christians are called to contend for the faith.

Yet many of us, myself included, spend more energy chasing approval, comfort, and success.

When you contend for something, you play to win.

What are you contending for?

[Wesley Fuertes @WesleyFuertes]

@DennisRoxPod @Markmanson Thanks for sharing your take, Dennis! It may seem like splitting hairs to others but getting the relationship between commitment and love right is extremely important! It has life shattering consequences if we get it wrong.

[Wesley Fuertes @WesleyFuertes]

Humility.

The more a man grows the more he realizes how much more he has to grow.

If a man has low humility he likely has high insecurity which will lead to compromises in integrity whenever his sense of worth is threatened.

At the core of that is faith. It isn't on everyone's list, but without faith, a man will not act with virtue as the goal, he will simply do what furhers his own agenda, meaning virtue is a means to an end.

Faith in God grounds a man to do everything out of a love for God, which means loving people well.

I've never known a great man to complain about having too much love in his life.

I think it is impossible to sustain that without faith, and faith in God starts with the right view of ourself before God, hence the humility being so important.

[Wesley Fuertes @WesleyFuertes]

@DiorisTejeda_ @Markmanson That's a really good point! That's why dating intentionally and finding any deal breakers before you commit to spending your life with someone is so critical.

Commitment won't make the wrong person the right one is a nugget of wisdom, Dioris!

[Wesley Fuertes @WesleyFuertes]

Healthy boundaries keep the good in and the bad out.

Yet many of us, do the opposite.

Before I met my wife, I was a social chameleon, saying the things I knew others wanted to hear to blend in and be liked, but never truly letting anyone in.

Somewhere along the way I internalized the lie, that opening up to the good wasn't worth the risk and that if anyone saw all the bad inside me they would run for the hills.

When I stopped believing that lie and got the help I needed for the bad inside, I was able to let the good in. Trust me the good is worth it!

If you want to learn more about how to set healthy boundaries, a book I'd recommend is Boundaries by Cloud and Townsend.

Happy to drop some of my notes in a reply below if anyone is interested.

[Wesley Fuertes @WesleyFuertes]

If you don't know what you think, write. Writing actually helps you figure it out.

What are you consuming? Are you consuming quality content and consuming from a wide array of fields/sources?

Write a lot, get a sense of what quality is, and find people who can give you good, hard and smart feedback

Focus on short-form to help get your reps in before taking on long-form writing projects.
Things like poetry, short stories, essays, articles. Read good examples of those short forms and try your hand at it.

Develop the skill of arguing from both sides. If you do this, you can anticipate the counterarguments/objections before you write.

Writers should know a lot about writing, just like Mike Tyson knows a lot about boxing. What did the greats in the field do? How can you learn from their example?

Develop your sense of taste by doing the 1s and 10s exercise. Think on the content you consumed recently, what have you absolutely loved and what have you absolutely despised. This helps you develop a discerning palate which is upstream of taste.

Commonplace books are a good place to dump your unrelated knowledge atoms that become valuable as you write and collect interesting ideas. it also changes the way you see the world.

"The Water got poisoned and we got used to the taste." Basically we have gotten so used to how things are we don't even realize what we are consuming is poison.

What promise are you making to the reader and why are you the person suited to fulfill that promise?

https://t.co/cpUTXXIKnY

[Wesley Fuertes @WesleyFuertes]

If you aren’t growing on X, more volume alone won’t solve your problem.

The quality of your output is downstream of the quality and breadth of your inputs.

Best-selling author @DanielPink talked about this on @david_perell's How I Write podcast a few months ago.

It hit me because this is something I’ve been neglecting in my own attempt to grow on @X .

I’ve been so focused on getting reps that I haven’t paid enough attention to what I’m feeding my mind and soul.

More writing matters. But so does reading widely, listening carefully, and giving yourself better ideas to work with.

A.W. Tozer put it this way: “No man should stand before an audience who has not first stood before God. Many hours of communion should precede one hour in the pulpit.”

If you’re interested, I put a few more takeaways and the episode link in the top reply. It's worth a listen!

Godspeed, friend!

[Wesley Fuertes @WesleyFuertes]

Are you treating prayer like a fire escape?

That was one of the most convicting questions I didn't have a good answer to while reading @timkellernyc 's book on prayer.

We break glass in case of emergency and ask him to generally bless our plans without being open to hearing what he has to say.

I've been far too guilty of these fire escape or retroactive blessing prayers.

I've been trying to take more time to pray throughout the day and inviting God into mundane and big decisions alike.

But if I am being honest autopilot takes over and I realize that I keep relying on my own strength.

Anyone have any tips of inviting God into their daily decisions throughout the day, not just the fire escape or blessing moments?

[Wesley Fuertes @WesleyFuertes]

We constantly undervalue future reward and overvalue immediate reward.

I think that's why it is challenging to value our heavenly rewards more than immediate and temporary earthly rewards.

It's a good reminder to hold that tension of don't worry about tomorrow for today had enough troubles and thinking about our salvation and valuing God more than the shiny things in front of us.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts, John! Godspeed, friend!

[Wesley Fuertes @WesleyFuertes]

How to actually stick to your habits:
Don’t commit to finishing.
Commit to starting.

What this practically looks like for me is only committing to the first 5 minutes of a new habit.

For example, I had a goal to have a cleaner home, so I’d set a timer for 5 minutes and clean until it went off.

But usually I’d be halfway through washing a dish and think, “I’ll just finish what I’m doing.” Then I’d see one more thing that needed to be done. Before I knew it, I’d been cleaning for 15–30 minutes without meaning to.

The hardest part is often starting, not continuing.

It's basically the "one more turn" mechanic from Civilization, but instead of stealing your time, you’re using it to build momentum.

Hope that helps, friend!

[Wesley Fuertes @WesleyFuertes]

When you think about it, you are saying I believe that this choice will be better for me than whatever God wants for me.

We think we have a better plan for fulfillment than the guy who created Mars, every atom in our body, knows our every thought before we say them, is all good, all knowing, all powerful and yet we think we know better.

I'm so glad God is so patient with us. It's humbling.

[Wesley Fuertes @WesleyFuertes]

My Abuela learned English through listening to TV, so I definitely think it can still be effective.

I also like to make a new habit fun and easy before worrying about making it perfectly efficient. Whenever I choose the “optimal” method but it’s less convenient, I usually give up before it ever becomes a habit.

If you still want to see the words while you listen, you can usually bundle the ebook and audiobook on Amazon for a discount. Then you can listen while following along with the text, almost like subtitles on a TV show.

It costs a little more, but it makes reading along much easier.

Hope that helps, friend!

[Wesley Fuertes @WesleyFuertes]

@zadok_xage Of course! Hope it helps!

[Wesley Fuertes @WesleyFuertes]

@thecreativeda_ It is genuinely my pleasure! It was a really good reminder to be more honest in my relationships!

Godspeed, friend!