Calamity Jane

LA stripper & adult content creator. Switch. She/Her ♉️🌈🔮🤓📚🖖 follow the white rabbit 🐇 ⬇️

[Calamity Jane @XCalamityXJaneX]

You know your shit is wild when you hairdresser says she’d read your biography.

[Calamity Jane @XCalamityXJaneX]

I don’t understand how women can be straight while Margot Robbie exists. How can you look at her without wanting to wrap her legs around your face? Truly a mystery.

[Calamity Jane @XCalamityXJaneX]

“This pose requires upper body strength- which you have.” 🥹🥹🥹

[Calamity Jane @XCalamityXJaneX]

@GirlsGutsGiallx I’m working, maintaining romantic relationships and exercising. I don’t have a clean home, I don’t cook and I have zero leisure time. My mental health is a precarious balancing act. So to answer your question, I’m not doing all of those things. I picked my top three basically.

[Calamity Jane @XCalamityXJaneX]

Oh yeah, I’m back in action.

[Calamity Jane @XCalamityXJaneX]

Idk if I’m in my villain era so much as I’m in my anime era.

[Calamity Jane @XCalamityXJaneX]

Someone asked me at the gym this morning if I’m a witch and I’m genuinely pleased that’s the vibe strangers get from me.

[Calamity Jane @XCalamityXJaneX]

I found some time this month. Come find me while you can 💋

[Calamity Jane @XCalamityXJaneX]

Invasive thoughts are so fucking rude. Literally no one asked you.

[Calamity Jane @XCalamityXJaneX]

I was not meant for the rat race. I was meant to be scantily clad, prancing around on a stage. I fucking miss my job.

[Calamity Jane @XCalamityXJaneX]

@hoediaries_ I wouldn’t.

[Calamity Jane @XCalamityXJaneX]

Working in the SW industry for as long as I have has had a lasting effect on me. Now when I get dressed for my civ job I think to myself “It is such a shame I have to cover up this body”, and it is.

[Calamity Jane @XCalamityXJaneX]

I do not have that gorilla grip on reality today.

[Calamity Jane @XCalamityXJaneX]

I shouldn’t have laughed that hard omg 🤣

[AFI Headquarters @AFIHeadquarters]

22 years ago today, The Art of Drowning was released into the world!

[Calamity Jane @XCalamityXJaneX]

It’s me. I’m women.

[Calamity Jane @XCalamityXJaneX]

Women are funny. They’ll be like “I’ve dated, had sex with, and actively fantasize about women but idk if I’m ACTUALLY bi…” 😂

[Calamity Jane @XCalamityXJaneX]

“I don’t wanna be your friend, I wanna be your bitch”

[Calamity Jane @XCalamityXJaneX]

If you are a 24 Hour Fitness that’s not open 24 hours just know that from the bottom of my heart, I hate you.