Allison Short

[Pacific Crest Trail Association @PCTAssociation]

New data shows 489,418 feet of elevation gain for the #PacificCrestTrail. This is the most accurate figure ever. http://t.co/gYnu1ahEhZ

[Allison Short @_allisonshort]

I forget I have this twitter thang... I'll forget again tomorrow. #failingsocialmedia #notwitterlove #squirrel

[Allison Short @_allisonshort]

Never trust a fence. Never. #dogsgonewild #nowhereissafe #goingpostal #whycantwebefriends

[Texts From Last Night @TFLN]

(204): As you passed out you started to cry and say ""Mufasa"" over and over again making everyone else cry.

[Allison Short @_allisonshort]

"Damn, there's so much ass support in this recliner!" #dailyrandomphrase

[Allison Short @_allisonshort]

I not only eat Lucky Charms, I brush my teeth before so the fake space marshmallows squeak even more on my teeth. #charmsfolife

[Allison Short @_allisonshort]

When your utility bill is like a puzzle of perforated edges. Fold here or tear here? Fuck.

[Allison Short @_allisonshort]

Never trust a leash. #brokefree #dogsgonewild #goingpostal Sorry I sprayed your dog with pepper spray. Nope not sorry. #adrenalinedump

[Allison Short @_allisonshort]

Liquor before beer in the clear did not apply last night. #drunk #hurl #wtfhappened

[Allison Short @_allisonshort]

When NSYNC is playing in the bar... #whereami?

[Patagonia @patagonia]

RT Patagonia's new craft beer will give you an eco-friendly buzz https://t.co/cVomwAJKDq via @MONEY

[Allison Short @_allisonshort]

Welcome back facial tissue commercials. 🖕🏼 #premature #snotrocketnomore

[Allison Short @_allisonshort]

Burnin CDs faster than a snail in a snake eating competition. #dafuck #downgrade

[Allison Short @_allisonshort]

When you misspell "fuck" so many times autocorrect wants to change it you when you actually spell it correctly. #fucj #fuck #notsosmartphone

[Allison Short @_allisonshort]

One thing I want in life 👉🏼 3. Day. Weekends. #nuffsaid #weekendprospect

[Allison Short @_allisonshort]

Partying ended at 4:34AM. Or whatever party means these days. Shit. #fucked #gone #sleepiwant

[Allison Short @_allisonshort]

I miss my cat. #forevercatlady #catlover

[Allison Short @_allisonshort]

Never thought a sleeveless denim button up shirt could look so sexy. Damn he made that look good. #imcheckinyouout #iwhipmyheadback #callme

[Backpacker Magazine @BackpackerMag]

Why Mt. Washington is one of America's most dangerous hikes: https://t.co/HxjcC1pTqF

[Allison Short @_allisonshort]

When you go to look something up on the Internet and in that one second of pulling up Google you already forgot what you were doing. #wtf