Amanda Austin

Here for a good time, all the time. 😎

[Amanda Austin @_amanda_austin]

Waiting for banks to open up portals for applications for the PPP is like Black Friday for Small Business Owners. #SBA

[Mike Birbiglia @birbigs]

Before you order something on amazon check for 2 minutes to see if you can order it directly from a small business. Bookstores 📚 farms 🍎 and coffee shops ☕️ for starters.

[Amanda Austin @_amanda_austin]

@BritneyMueller I’m also not a real blonde. Shout out to my quarantine roots, too!

[Amanda Austin @_amanda_austin]

Honestly, I now get why so many fitness enthusiasts love carb cycling. Cycling thru all these carbs is giving me LIFE!

[Amanda Austin @_amanda_austin]

It’s 9:30p, so you know what means. Just 5ish more hours until I possibly fall asleep.

[Amanda Austin @_amanda_austin]

But seriously, what’s everyone’s @CholulaHotSauce situation? I’ve got 3 half-full bottles so I’m ok for this week.

[Amanda Austin @_amanda_austin]

@GrantRedmond This is the content I’ve been waiting for. Listening on repeat.

[Amanda Austin @_amanda_austin]

I’ve done so many home workouts this week and have yet to flatten a single curve.

[Amanda Austin @_amanda_austin]

@brrit2000 I have not. Is he single?

[Amanda Austin @_amanda_austin]

First weekend off in 11 years. What’s everyone up to?

[Amanda Austin @_amanda_austin]

@dalibaba That’s a big time commmitment, for sure. Let me know who wins.

[Amanda Austin @_amanda_austin]

@dalibaba Boo. No fun.

[Amanda Austin @_amanda_austin]

@flyyabetes You a twelve boi?

[Amanda Austin @_amanda_austin]

Celebrities: Why is it that you get a great theme like CAMP for the #MetGala and you don’t find a way to wear Umbros and a Yaga shirt?

[Amanda Austin @_amanda_austin]

Oh hey. A good deal, if you like good deals. 😎 https://t.co/AoOiCwBljO

[Dallas Comedy House @dallascomedy]

Comedy classes are on sale NOW! Get $50 off.
Post about what you signed up for w #DCHBlackFriday… https://t.co/h5xrFXQaGr

[Amanda Austin @_amanda_austin]

Hey @Apple give the people what they want and let's just skip ahead to iPhone 69.

[Amanda Austin @_amanda_austin]

I mean, is there anything better than cold chocolate?

[Amanda Austin @_amanda_austin]

The only problem with eating a pint of ice cream w/your fingers in your car is when all the other cars don't have tinted windows. #icecream

[Amanda Austin @_amanda_austin]

Went for a nighttime swim so now I know what it's like to be rich but grounded b/c I live behind the train & under a Care Flight path.

[Dallas Comedy House @dallascomedy]

What words are the funniest? Increase your word to laugh ratio with this article by Jason Hensel. https://t.co/zVi4p9YPaW