Slinky

Not the girl next door.

[Slinky @_chasinrainbows]

You're funny .
*Keeps you*

[Tashy McTashface @TashP351]

When someone really pisses me off, I like to silently think about crisps for a minute, and how fabulous it is that they exist.

Anger fades.

Salt & Vinegar doesn’t.

[Gwendolyn @GLB_88]

Why does this dog look like Gail Platt.

[Dave † 🇬🇧🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🇺🇸🇮🇪🎸🎶 @daveguitarjones]

My wife, who wouldn't let anyone touch the food in the cupboards because 'they're for Christmas' to now literally forcefeeding it down everyone's throat because 'it's going out of date and we can't waste it'!

'Quality Street sandwich?
Ferrero Rocher on toast?
Lindt pate?

[Tim Burgess @Tim_Burgess]

Retweet for a chance to win!

A super rare Best Lips In London T shirt - only 20 in existence - the rest will be at The Merch Market in London on Sunday January 11th

More Merch Market right here https://t.co/SK9mmFrTbY

Winner picked at random at 10am on January 5th

[Slinky @_chasinrainbows]

Christmas has been declared 🎄♥️

[Cap'n Ben Homewood @capnbobfrapples]

Two appalling graphic murders caught and displayed on the internet for all to see. Every single moment, every angle awful.

Looking at this stuff doesn’t do any of us any good you know.

Take care. X

[Slinky @_chasinrainbows]

@Tim_Burgess Class! Morning ☕️

[Blue Moon @BlueMoonNites]

You are never too old to dance when your song comes on.

[Maria Constantinou @MariaConst_]

If you got married in #Bristol today, I spotted you sharing a lovely embrace as I walked behind you this evening. I hope you like the photo and that you have a lifetime of love and happiness ❤️

[The B. @anerdonfire2]

I'm going to get more sleep tonight is always the first lie I tell myself in the morning.

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

I just had a spray of this. I’ve been instantly transported back to 1999. I’m going out with £15 in my Velcro wallet which will somehow buy me 8 pints, 16 Rothmans from a machine in a pub, a kebab, and a taxi home. My shirt is massive and I have a whole pot of wet-look gel in my hair. My Nokia is ringing in my pocket, even though I haven’t charged it for three days.

[Sooz @CruisinSoozan]

Spoiler alert: Time doesn’t heal shit.

[Kristen @Kica333]

And to my children I leave my collection of grocery bags that I store inside of a grocery bag.

[Tashy McTashface @TashP351]

I started off telling him “no you bloody can’t have a bit of my steak”.

Then he looked at me like this and suddenly I’m asking if it’s cooked to his liking and would he like a side of fries.

[Ricky @RickyTFC]

Sat in a Spoons and the barmen just smashed a glass, not a single waheeeeeeeey. This country is finished.

[Laura Pearson @LauraPAuthor]

Saw a woman I know but not well today, told her I loved her dress.

She told me where it was from, how much it cost and demonstrated that it had pockets.

10/10. No notes.

[Mitten d'Amour @MittenDAmour]

My period tracking app needs an icon for “just watched Lewis Capaldi’s Glastonbury 2023 vs 2025 video and his fans really said “you go heal yourself, take your time, we’ll be right where you left us when you’re ready” 💖 because that is a MOOD”

[CowDoc🐮 @mooodoc]

Anybody else ever vacuum their house and wonder how their dogs aren't just completely bald by now?

[Sooz @CruisinSoozan]

When the world is shit and you feel defeated, do something nice for someone else. It may save them. And you.