The Consistent Man

Faith. Family. Discipline. Fatherhood. BYU. Stoicism.
Strong bodies. Clear minds. Principled. Aspiring peacemaker.
Latter-day Saint.

[The Consistent Man @_consistent_man]

@RaeHowell1977 Athletic family!

[The Consistent Man @_consistent_man]

When putting your kids in sports and activities, you literally can’t (and shouldn’t) choose everything.

So how do you decide what to introduce them to?

Here’s my personal YES/NO list for my girls, and why.

YES:

Jiu-Jitsu — I want to know my girls can defend themselves when I’m not around. Also, they can’t date until they’re black belts. 😂

Swimming — Because I don’t want them to drown. Also, swimming is fun and fantastic exercise.

Running/trail running — Practical, healthy, and something they can do with me.

Backpacking/calisthenics/weight training — Because it’s what I do. They’re going to grow up around it anyway.

Tennis and golf — Both are lifelong sports with opportunities for college scholarships and significant professional earning potential for women. Plus, they’re fun.

Piano or guitar — Versatile, beautiful, and great for the brain.

Drums — This one is specific to my daughter. I just have a feeling she’d absolutely love them.

NO:

Football — How do I break it to my 4-year-old daughter that girls don’t really have the same opportunities to play competitive tackle football? She’s going to be devastated. 😂

Soccer — I don’t want to spend every Saturday at games for a season that feels like it lasts forever. Plus, the high rate of ACL injuries among female soccer players concerns me. I’d rather avoid it.

Softball — I’m sure it’s great and plenty of fun. But I’m just not a baseball/softball guy. And I have no desire to spend my weekends at tournaments

Basketball — This one’s a solid maybe, but I’m leaning no. Nothing against the sport. It’s just not high on my list of activities I’d prioritize introducing them to.

Competitive gymnastics — Basic gymnastics? Absolutely. But competitive gymnastics gets incredibly expensive, and I have concerns about the pressure and culture at higher levels.

Dance or cheer — Again, recreationally? Sure. But I’m hesitant about the competitive environments, especially the emphasis on appearance and body image at young ages. My wife danced professionally throughout her life and had a lot of bad experiences associated with that.

Other instruments — Nothing against them. I just think piano and guitar offer the most versatility and long-term usefulness.

Obviously, my girls will develop their own interests, and I’ll support them in discovering what they love.

But as a parent, I think it’s perfectly reasonable to be intentional about what you introduce your kids to.

Realistically, the odds of going pro in any sport are incredibly low. But if I’m going to invest years of time and money into my girls’ athletics, I might as well consider the potential upside.

What’s on your YES/NO list?
What am I getting wrong?

[The Consistent Man @_consistent_man]

@Lew541207 Watching him hammer that nail was causing me actual pain

[The Consistent Man @_consistent_man]

@TheKingSourceN Prob right more often than not

[The Consistent Man @_consistent_man]

How many government agents are on this app trying to influence narratives?

Do you think any of them are in the LDS community?

[The Consistent Man @_consistent_man]

@FriedScones So interesting to see how unique each kid is

[The Consistent Man @_consistent_man]

@AlexMahnk If I could play any professional sports position, long snapper would be a consideration

[The Consistent Man @_consistent_man]

@RaeHowell1977 I’m glad she found what she loves!
Did you introduce her to those or did she find them on her own?

[The Consistent Man @_consistent_man]

@dogluvr3333 Horses would be so cool.
Also, a ton of work!

[The Consistent Man @_consistent_man]

@ColeStuart177 Those are good ones! I’d agree with that

[The Consistent Man @_consistent_man]

@CeYor1225 @KelsAnders1992 There’s a balance. Too far one way or the other, I think is a negative.

[The Consistent Man @_consistent_man]

@PlantingPeonies Sibling love!

[The Consistent Man @_consistent_man]

When I returned home from my mission, I immediately started preparing to attend BYU as a freshman.

I had almost no money.

Things were so tight that I remember overdrafting my bank account that first semester because I bought some chocolate-covered cinnamon bears at the bookstore.

My parents had also “sold” me my mom’s old Honda Civic so I’d have something to drive.

I eventually paid them for it, but let’s just say they gave me a pretty great deal on the price and interest rate.

But getting into my first apartment was a struggle.

I needed a security deposit, plus first and last month’s rent.

I’d earned most of what I needed, but I was still short.

I remember sitting in the rental office with my mother when she reached into her purse, opened a little pocket, and pulled out a couple hundred dollars.

All in one-dollar bills.

She’d been saving them from the tips she earned bussing tables at a restaurant.

A dollar here. A few dollars there.

Money she’d been setting aside because there were things she wanted to buy for herself.

But when she saw that I needed help, she gave it all to me.

I remember getting emotional about it then.

And I’m getting emotional thinking about it now.

It wasn’t the amount of money.

It was what those dollar bills represented.

Every single one had been earned through her hard work. Every one represented something she’d gone without so she could save a little for herself.

And when I needed help, she didn’t hesitate to give them to me.

My mother did everything she could to help me get an education.

I eventually became the first person in my family, on either side, to graduate from college.

And I owe so much of that to her.

My mom passed away a few years ago in 2021.

I’ve accomplished a lot since those days, but I’ll never forget her sitting in that rental office, pulling those one-dollar bills out of her purse.

It wasn’t the amount of money that mattered. It was the love and sacrifice those dollars represented.

I never doubted for a second how much my mother loved me.

She was an angel on earth.

[The Consistent Man @_consistent_man]

@ThisMomSaid Yup! That’s kinda my purpose of this list.
Give her a wide variety of things I think are best and hope she loves one or some of them.

Because you can’t to everything

[The Consistent Man @_consistent_man]

That’s awesome you’re giving her so many avenues.

You said all your kids learn how to skateboard. That’s kinda what I’m getting at.

There’s definitely try things happening at once. You are sharing your kids what you know, and they are also keeping their eyes open to what is happening outside of what you show them so that they can form their own interests.

I’m primarily concerned with the first part since the second part with happen naturally

[The Consistent Man @_consistent_man]

@Kintsugijin 😂

[The Consistent Man @_consistent_man]

I completely understand where you’re coming from.

I’ve been around a lot of high-level dancers myself. Were you on the Jazz team? I knew a couple of girls who danced there.

Through my wife’s former social circles, I’ve known Broadway dancers, backup dancers for major musicians, and dancers in film. I was also around the Cougarettes and cheerleaders at BYU quite a bit.

I have tremendous respect for what they do, and I’ve seen both the positives and negatives firsthand.

I agree that parents shouldn’t dictate what their children can or should enjoy. But I also think parents have an enormous influence on what their children are exposed to in the first place.

I don’t think it’s a coincidence that you were a high-level dancer and your daughter now dances competitively. And I don’t think that’s a bad thing at all!

Whether intentionally or not, our interests, experiences, and priorities help shape those of our children.

I think there’s a meaningful difference between forcing your kids down a particular path and being intentional about which paths you introduce them to.

[The Consistent Man @_consistent_man]

Haha, I don’t mind volleyball. I would not be against it, but also it’s obviously not top of mind for me.
I’d introduce it to my girls recreationally with the family or at the beach and maybe put them in lessons or on a team if they showed interest or the right opportunity arose.
That’s one is prob in the same category as basketball. Solid maybe

[The Consistent Man @_consistent_man]

@Justlurkin991 True. Violin is a beautiful instrument

[The Consistent Man @_consistent_man]

@Snake_With_Feet @pbabinski91 You really don’t know where the temple and rites came from.

I don’t have the time to explain it to you right now, but you’re showing your complete ignorance as you’re trying to comment on these things.

[The Consistent Man @_consistent_man]

@Snake_With_Feet @pbabinski91 In other words, you don’t know the Bible…

[The Consistent Man @_consistent_man]

@RyanBErickson