Gus🏚️

Jerry: (to Kramer) “You? You'll be out before we get the check.”

[Gus🏚️ @_dangergus]

https://t.co/ZwtUHE2pAG

[That odd girl @EwwShesOdd]

@foreeeeeal Absolutely

[Old Man Rattle @oldrattle_]

my favorite part about arby’s is how they let you pay with your body

[Anderz @Anderzin0]

Old black man standing behind me at the gas station let out a sigh and said "these folks need to hurry up, I gotta go get my peter sucked on." I let him go ahead of me.

[Louise Jensen Duffy (also Ernest Jensen) @LouiseWeebe]

You’re listening to Sisyphus FM, the home of non-stop rock.

[Kody @Kody0fficial]

Clicky and Dean in Buffalo, what a time 😂

[NOBUNAGA🇯🇵🏯_夏樹蒼依 @japan_nobunaga]

USA. A Mexican restaurant. We had not yet ordered anything, and the food was already arriving.

Chips. Salsa. Unrequested. Free.

I stopped the waiter. "We have not earned these."

"They just come with the table, man."

They come with the TABLE. In my land, hospitality is a debt. Every gift creates an obligation, weighed carefully, returned in the proper season with interest of feeling. Here, the gift arrives before you have even proven you can pay for dinner.

This is not an appetizer. This is a declaration: we trust you. Eat.

I ate with the gravity the moment deserved. And then — I must report this calmly — the basket emptied, and a new one appeared.

"Did we…?"

"Refill," the waiter said. "It's bottomless."

Bottomless. They have wells of salsa. The supply lines of this nation are beyond anything my ancestors imagined.

My friend warned me. "Don't fill up on chips, dude."

Too late. I had accepted three baskets. Honor demanded each one be finished — an unfinished gift is an insult. By the time my actual food arrived, I was a ruined man.

I was not hungry. I was not comfortable. I had been defeated by a courtesy.

Generosity that arrives before the request cannot be repaid. It can only be survived.

I know the rule now. I have made my peace with the basket. One basket. Two at the most.

Who am I deceiving. There is no number of baskets I would refuse. The trust of a nation is in that salsa, and I intend to honor all of it.

[Still Real To Us @stillreal2us]

Alien: *crying*

Me: “so that was Shawn Michaels vs. Ric Flair at WrestleMania 24”

[Hunter Biden @HunterBiden]

@Boilers32 It most definitely was not. I would never have forgotten my drugs.

[lexi gets me wetter @bigguccilexa]

I had to put my finger under each word

[Andrade “El Idolo” The Real Latino Man! @AndradeElIdolo]

How you know ?

[Breaking911 @Breaking911]

UH-60M Blackhawks from Indiana’s 38th Combat Aviation Brigade performed a low flyover above the Indianapolis Motor Speedway during the pace lap of the 2026 Indy 500.

[Richard Cranium @RichardCranny69]

A hungover crank to her tan lines in the office bathroom might be on today’s agenda

[jake @wormpuller]

Larry did not have ties to Moe, per Curly

[mau @rllydu]

give a man a drunk cig, he smokes for a night
teach a man to bum a drunk cig, he smokes for a lifetime

[Frank Lloyd White Boy @rustbelt_]

It’s called Fort Wayne. Indianapolis? 2 hours. Detroit? 3 hours. Cincinnati, Columbus? 3 hours. Chicago? Yup, just 3 hours. We’re talking the center of the known universe.

[THAT SOUTHERN DUDE @TSDmemes]

“vapes are a psyop to condition us to enjoy sucking robot dick”

[Reed Burner @reedt4723]

Me and my roommate Pete aboutta eat these burritos while watching ourselves as the thumbnail for today’s Yak. Life’s truly fucking crazy man @BarstoolBigCat

[richard @Dickwith2dogs]

No we meant questions about the job

[Nicky @nickturani]

Pivotal U.S. Moments