Dairy McQueen

three trench coats stuffed inside a raccoon

[Dairy McQueen @_eric_alexander]

Imagine being the researcher tasked with observing infinite monkeys on typewriters and just as one of them is about to finish writing The Tempest, on the very last word it types banana

[Dairy McQueen @_eric_alexander]

@JerseyGirlsOne @PplsCityCouncil Julie, shut the fuck up

[Dairy McQueen @_eric_alexander]

@RogueKite I don’t like mine better at all tbh!

https://t.co/gPZHKUTZY5

[People's City Council - Los Angeles @PplsCityCouncil]

Last night, the US military invaded a quiet residential neighborhood in Pasadena for a “training exercise” that went until 1AM. Mayor Victor Gordo didn’t inform residents until right before and supposedly the military didn’t tell the city until yesterday

[microplastics rectifier @facetedcarapace]

I hadn't seen this edit before and it's making me cry laugh

[Dairy McQueen @_eric_alexander]

@Heartless_at20 @zippkode @allie__voss no, you're confusing MAGA's immigration policy with the scientific difference between a fetus and a baby

[Dairy McQueen @_eric_alexander]

@JoelSchamber @EmmaVigeland I had the same question after you bailed on this thread once you got completely eviscerated in the replies

https://t.co/UAFc6uhI1r

[Azure @AzureFenn]

@JoelSchamber @CameronCorduroy Sorry I just want to clarify- you think that doge slashing screwworm prevention programs, and then screwworms making it back into the us, is pure happenstance

[Dairy McQueen @_eric_alexander]

I can't explain it but whenever I'm in Seattle I always feel like I'm so far to the top left

[Dairy McQueen @_eric_alexander]

@offtrackbets @pictureplane They may not have literally stomped or clapped but they were nonetheless part of the country bear jamboree mason jar mema faux-revivalist faux-movement

[Dairy McQueen @_eric_alexander]

this genre was propped up by people who wanted to identify/be thought of as an era-specific type of hipster but weren’t willing to do more than listen to this music and (pick any): buy a certain type of hat; eat at new restaurants w/ names like Trowel and Spindle; use Hipstamatic

[🪄PICTUREPLANE🌙 @pictureplane]

Anyone who was listening to “stomp clap” music like the Lumineers, Edward Sharpe or Mumford and Sons in the 2010’s was someone who had bad taste in music. Those bands were boring, and not relevant at all to what was actually going on at that time. I’m not hating it’s just facts.

[Daniel Keller @dnlklr]

@pictureplane Zoomers never experienced life before poptimism and therefore anachronistically associate historical popularity with coolness

[Dairy McQueen @_eric_alexander]

@AzureFenn @JoelSchamber @CameronCorduroy Can someone check on @JoelSchamber to make sure he didn’t go face-down in his oatmeal again

[Dairy McQueen @_eric_alexander]

@sdiepend @Romy_Holland @SeanMcCarthyCom How many orgies have you been to this month in your quest for a suitable spouse

[Dairy McQueen @_eric_alexander]

@HannaCelina @Romy_Holland @SeanMcCarthyCom She did— her husband has money

[Dairy McQueen @_eric_alexander]

@DeepzPidz @shige_008 @3xcalibaneur do you think people will notice if I'm wearing lifts inside my socks

[Dairy McQueen @_eric_alexander]

@AIfortheenotme @Romy_Holland @SeanMcCarthyCom You got hung up on a word but lost the context. Here

https://t.co/dLBBAn92x1

[Dairy McQueen @_eric_alexander]

@Romy_Holland @SeanMcCarthyCom Mid-energy crisis and weeks away from the oil shortage hitting home is a really weird time globally to be gloating about prosperity

[Dairy McQueen @_eric_alexander]

Had that dream again where I’m trying to have sex with the Michelin Man but can’t find the right fold

[Dairy McQueen @_eric_alexander]

@Steli I’ve been trying to get her to work for 45 minutes but no matter what I do she thinks my business is a pet store (it is not a pet store!!)

[Dairy McQueen @_eric_alexander]

Hunter Biden is the Grand Theft Auto cross-franchise moral arc personified. Same dirtbag vibe throughout but eventually “kill hookers” got replaced with “nuanced tongue in cheek social awareness”

[Dairy McQueen @_eric_alexander]

@worlocked @the_anticitizen @35yearoldfriend Isn’t being young and hip enough for you without having to also cosplay as old and wise lol

[Silly Little Guy @Czar_Of_Silly]

Hunter Biden ever since he logged tf on

[Dairy McQueen @_eric_alexander]

@worlocked @the_anticitizen @35yearoldfriend Come on dude I check these things before I comment lol

https://t.co/X4VW7mPlgP

[😎 @worlocked]

@ArturoVill7 yo soy de la gen z y voy a quemarlo todo