mr. brightside

you can't catch me and make me a man

[mr. brightside @_faurote_]

things i actually said out loud to my cat today: a thread

[ROSE LANI @pradamercury]

How it feels to ask someone if they’re gonna eat their pickle

[folake aina @f0lake]

no like… my first concert? the first people i ever stanned? posters all over my room? HELLO???

[meredith 🍉 @dietz_meredith]

me in a car: these pedestrians are insane, that guy could’ve died in a crosswalk

me as a pedestrian: i am. Ready to Die in a crosswalk

[no context sitcoms ☮︎ 🍉 @oocsitcoms]

inside out if it was filmed inside my head

[Zack Bornstein @ZackBornstein]

not to be controversial but personally i think we should have more options than a gently alive corpse and the dumbest Hitler of all time

[audrey farnsworth @audipenny]

jesus christ google yes you can have my location. i’m literally just checking the spelling of a word but by all means, sure, know exactly where I am. freak

[Cowboy the Terrible @iJmillz]

You guys can’t see my likes right now but I’m liking some interesting and niche things you probably wouldn’t understand. I’m liking some memes that are outside your realm of fathomability. Just letting you know

[Socratease @renfairebarbie]

I have this at work

[trash jones @jzux]

one minute you're young, the next minute you're defending your new pair of Crocs

[capricorn cunt 🎀 @celesitial]

kinda miss being 13 reading wattpad stories until 5 am on a summer night

[steezy @steezysloth]

TurboTax: does all of this information look accurate to you?

me:

[Gf Be WILIN @gfbewilin]

i should’ve bought a house in 2007 instead of playing on my pink nintendo ds

[kathleen @holdenfordfocus]

born to say “are you fucking stupid” forced to say “wow i’ve never thought about it like that before”

[Wibke 🪩 @harrydearest]

you know it’s not the same as it was

[K’Hood @Rollitupk]

Let me call Samantha puckett on you hoes