Go Ask Your Dad

Wife, but not the trophy kind. Mom and designated babysitter to 4. SAHM, ER nurse. Follow me on IG too!

[Go Ask Your Dad @_goaskyourdad_]

I love how my husband can fart like 59 times in a row, but if I do it once he looks at me like I’m Carole Baskin

[Go Ask Your Dad @_goaskyourdad_]

My husband and I play this fun game where I usually have my phone on silent and he has to text one of the kids to go find me so I can call him back

[Go Ask Your Dad @_goaskyourdad_]

Rihanna, 9 months postpartum: Performs an entire half time show while looking like a goddess

Me, 9 months postpartum: Still wearing maternity clothes and can’t walk up a flight of stairs without feeling winded

[Go Ask Your Dad @_goaskyourdad_]

“Dry January” means not going to the gym and sweating this month right?

[Go Ask Your Dad @_goaskyourdad_]

I’d like to take this moment to thank @urbandictionary....because without you, I wouldn’t know what the fuck my teen is talking about

[momwithaboysname @momwithaboysna1]

Any time I’m tempted to give someone unsolicited parenting advice, I think about the time I caught my kid eating out of the garbage, and I keep my mouth shut.

[Go Ask Your Dad @_goaskyourdad_]

My husband doesn’t always perform a full maintenance check on the car, but when he does, it’s when the whole family is packed and sitting in the car ready to go on a road trip

[Go Ask Your Dad @_goaskyourdad_]

So glad outdoor sports resumed. It’s nice to get a break and watch someone else yell at my kids for once

[Go Ask Your Dad @_goaskyourdad_]

@RYGdance 🤣🤣

[sixfootcandy @sixfootcandy]

Dating: I’m not wearing any panties, baby.

Married: I’m not wearing any panties because you forgot to do the laundry again.

[Go Ask Your Dad @_goaskyourdad_]

@momlikethat1 @thehomeedit

[Go Ask Your Dad @_goaskyourdad_]

@MommyCocktail I side with the wife 🤣

[Go Ask Your Dad @_goaskyourdad_]

@AntsyButterfly That’s a good idea!

[Go Ask Your Dad @_goaskyourdad_]

@oneawkwardmom 🤣🤣

[Go Ask Your Dad @_goaskyourdad_]

@AnnaDoesntWant2 We need to give ourselves more credit lol

[Satirical Mommy @SatiricalMommy]

I really want my kid to be a master junior chef so he can make dinner for all of us, but not enough to let him practice in the kitchen and deal with the cleanup

[Go Ask Your Dad @_goaskyourdad_]

@SnarkyMommy78 🥴🥴

[Go Ask Your Dad @_goaskyourdad_]

@gfishandnuggets I hear it’s so hard!

[Goldfish and Chicken Nuggets @gfishandnuggets]

Registration for kids’ summer camp opens tomorrow morning and I have it marked in my calendar as “The Hunger Games.” That’s everything you need to know about trying to secure a spot for your kid in any summer camp.

[Go Ask Your Dad @_goaskyourdad_]

@whinecheezits The real boss right there 😂

[Rachel Sobel @whinecheezits]

I spent years hatching plans, agonizing over how I was going to leave a successful career in corporate America to pursue my dream of working for myself. Never did I expect that dream to include my child yelling at me from the bathroom to come hold her popsicle so she could pee.