Jesticles

hey guys welcome back to my channel

[Jesticles @_jmm3]

Ok BOYZ I think we should all play this fun game I just made up where you tell me why you’re an eligible bachelor and then I will tell you why you absolutely are NOT

[Jesticles @_jmm3]

@tjlnn This is good I should write that one down

[kiesha @kiesha9i]

"your cat will eat you when you die" yeah but he shows infinite grace by making no attempt in the meantime. leave him alone

[Zara Rahim @ZaraRahim]

i am at taylor swifts wedding and it’s a cash bar

[Dan Carney @DanManCarney]

I might be breaking my NDA by saying this but Taylor Swift sang “We Are Charlie Kirk” at her wedding

[Jesticles @_jmm3]

WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK HOW IS THIS A HEADLINE???

[More Perfect Union @MorePerfectUS]

BREAKING: The Supreme Court has upheld the constitutional definition of birthright citizenship — meaning all children born in the United States are U.S. citizens.

[Jesticles @_jmm3]

Could really go for 40 years wandering the desert right about now

[Jesticles @_jmm3]

And you know what else, white ppl ?? You look DUMB when you say Snape can’t be Black because it will make James Potter seem racist. Why can’t Harry Potter have a racist dad??? You do!!

[Jesticles @_jmm3]

If you pay taxes in the United States of America do NOT tell me not to watch the HP reboot

[Jesticles @_jmm3]

How am I supposed to lose my superiority complex when we have full grown adults in this country openly admitting that it took A RYAN MURPHY SHOW for them to learn about JFK Jr. and Carolyn??

[Jesticles @_jmm3]

Update my cat died

[Jesticles @_jmm3]

Up at 4:43 am thinkin about how much I love my cat

[Jesticles @_jmm3]

@tjlnn I wish I could rt this

[Andrew—#IAmTheResistance @AmoneyResists]

I’d ask what kind of person would eulogize her husband by making thinly veiled threats against people who had nothing to do with his death, but the answer is the same type of woman who would marry Charlie Kirk.

[Jesticles @_jmm3]

PERSONALLY, if I was Tomi Lahren, I would’ve taken a day or two off from being a raging c*nt but rest assured our girl is nothing if not a dumb bitch

[Tomi Lahren @TomiLahren]

I’m so sick of Libs and politicians prefacing their posts with “though I disagreed with him” or “blah blah blah his rhetoric.”

He didn’t agree with you or appreciate your “rhetoric” either but he just wanted to debate you, not end your life.

Just stop. Unless your message is pure horror and sadness over his MURDER, just shut up. You don’t need to post anything else. Have some fricken respect.

[ria✧˖° @love_wbb]

i didn’t realize how many people around me are in religious psychosis until yesterday

[Mike Drucker @MikeDrucker]

The guy who tried to assassinate Ronald Reagan was trying to get famous enough to impress Jodie Foster

[Jesticles @_jmm3]

Never believed in generational curses until I found out my ancestors came here on the MAYFLOWER

[Jesticles @_jmm3]

How much more data needs to come out before we collectively agree that weddings are *very* cringe

[Jesticles @_jmm3]

Isaac Neutron is soooooooo funny

[Jesticles @_jmm3]

@eringeyen ???? I always thought it was Absinthe

[Jesticles @_jmm3]

When your grandma says she learned a new word and it made her think of you :) and the word is neurodivergent