It's Game of Thrones and it's not really an argument. This show was a cultural juggernaut, every week the whole internet watched together, it was endlessly quoted, children were named after the characters, and no one brings it up anymore because the last season was so awful.
Do not borrow shame from the past. You are not that person anymore and you simply didn't know better. No reason to beat yourself up for it. All you can do is do better.
Stop ignoring yourself. Fix your posture, get a fresh hair cut, do your nails, take care of your skin, drink water, eat food that gives you energy, take your daily vitamins. When you feel & look good, you do good. Put in the effort. Invest in yourself, you deserve it babe!!
reading books is not a waste of time! you're literally enjoying the hobby you like and find interesting. reading can also enhance your vocabulary, stimulate your imagination and make us feel deep empathy for the characters