Mommysaurus Rex

I'm just here for the commiserating.
Instagram: mommysaurus.rex

[Mommysaurus Rex @_mommysaurusrex]

911: What's your emergency

Me: My 3yo starts soccer today but I only have room for like 1000 more pictures on my phone

9: OMG stay with me

[CC 🦋 @CCRuns]

Love means never having to sleep alone in your own bed again all stretched out completely comfortable, quiet, peaceful and so well rested

[The Real Rodney Lacroix @RealRodLacroix]

Child: I don't understand how to do my homework.

Also the child when I try to help: THAT’S NOT HOW YOU DO IT

[That Mom Tho @mom_tho]

im just a mom
asking the stores
to make full length shirts again

[Mommy Owl @Mommy__Owl]

Moms be like kid crying? I’m here! Kid hurt? Imma perform surgery! Kid getting chased by a hive of bees, 2 bears, and a tiger? Let me at ‘em. We 5 foot 2 in height but 6 foot 2 in spirit.

[sweatpants cher🔸 @House_Feminist]

I’m so tired and so busy all the time? But if you ask me what I did today, I have no idea? Mostly I walked around looking for my glasses and picked things up and put them down in a different place? Or picked up my phone to do a thing but forgot and did another thing for 3 hours?

[Roxy @RoxyTall]

Babies have the right idea by waking up and instantly crying

[The Real Rodney Lacroix @RealRodLacroix]

News: Parents arrested on neglect charges for their 9 children.

Most people: Omg how horrible!

Parents: Omg why would you have 9 kids?!?

[The Dad Briefs @SladeWentworth]

In parenting, time either goes way too slow or way too fast.

[Scary Mommy @ScaryMommy]

As another school year approaches, there are kids who will struggle with math, reading, making friends, making the team, or reaching their milestones and behind them a parent who hurts to see them struggle. Whatever your struggle may be this year, just know that you aren't alone.

[The Dad @thedad]

I feel like my kids are one monster energy drink away from easily fighting off 30-50 feral hogs

[Mommy Owl @Mommy__Owl]

No one makes more observations than a child sharing a stall with his mother inside a public restroom.

[tom @pilau]

Wife: the baby needs changing

Me: I don’t know, I kinda like her

[A Bearer Of Dad News @HomeWithPeanut]

You know how people try to say it's 5 o'clock somewhere to justify having a beer? Why can't we do that with our kids' bedtimes?

[Simon Holland @simoncholland]

You can’t eat snacks while you sleep so taking a nap is basically a diet.

[Lurkin' Mom @LurkAtHomeMom]

Husband: *asleep and snoring*
Me: ugh, stop snoring!
[1 min later]
Husband: *asleep and breathing*
Me: yeah that’s not ok either

[The Dad @thedad]

When you become a father, it's like someone instantly fills your heart with love and your car with crumbs

[Unfiltered Mama 💗✌️ @UnfilteredMama]

My toddler wants “pink eggs” for breakfast & I have no idea what that is, but I know it’s going to be all downhill from here.

[Lauren Mullen @DraggingFeeties]

Parenting hack:

There are no hacks. Everything is hard. These kids never listen. Your life is hell now. Godspeed.

[Betty Botticelli @Faungirl123]

I've had a headache for...*looks at my oldest son* about 19 yrs now.

[{full name} @passthewhine_44]

My toddler is crying because she wanted 2 strawberries but I only gave her 2