kwisatz fagerach ✨

god I’m such a hater

[baby daddyy @MrJose_Martinez]

What people don’t realize is that every weekend in Chicago is market days bet better

[8N @coolgirlnadiav]

Opening Grindr at this hour with no intention of leaving my bed

[valentine @valawakened]

Every situationship ends with one person pretending it was chill and the other doing shadow work through three retrogrades and an eclipse season.

[✿emoly✿ @emhstnd]

seeing your straight male friend comment "🔥" on a woman's instagram post is like seeing your dog hump a stranger's leg

[(ꈍ ᴗ ꈍ✿) @5notz]

everybody weird even my grandma. i’m over it

[Shrimp Billionaire @fentanylbrownie]

Not a fan of being asked if it’s “my first time” visiting a restaurant. It’s not gonna be that crazy bro.

[aria @m8ss3ducti0n]

the reason they invented this type of thirst trap and porn is because of this exact reason. plenty of guys with great bodies are a bit chopped in the face

[Lisa @lisadoiistein]

innocent looking muscle gays are always into pup play and the not so innocent looking ones are always into FF

[briana ☪︎ @xbrianaax]

the best sex is always with someone who pisses you off

[َ @chudology]

situationships are weird af u saw my hole and now u don’t even wanna like my ig story like ok

[kwisatz fagerach ✨ @a_essexy]

@myhealthworld1 @onbeinganangel And what exactly was that trauma…?

[nik @nikydicky]

ive promised like 8 guys sex when i get home but little do they know im locking myself in my room and playing minecraft for 6 months

[𝐒𝐌𝐎𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐖𝐈𝐙𝐀𝐑𝐃 @swizardcore]

when your humor has reached such an advanced stage that everyone around you thinks you are retarded

[Freddie🧍🏽‍♀️. @swagglenoodles]

You’ll be having the worst day ever and a random man will be sending you “??” for not replying his stupid message.

[jake @wormpuller]

Calling in fat and sleepy to work