Aaron Selbig

Penitent scribe. Infantry.

[Aaron Selbig @aaronselbig]

I’m sorry, I thought this was America. WHAT DO YOU MEAN I CAN’T PUT EMOJIS IN A SPREADSHEET?!!

[Aaron Selbig @aaronselbig]

@protectedpick She’s amazing in “Poor Things,” if you haven’t seen it.

[Aaron Selbig @aaronselbig]

@alaskalandmine Don Young was a racist, sexist, homophobic piece of shit.

[redyellowgreendance 💃🏻 @RYGdance]

Overheard from the bathroom this morning, my (10 yr old) son:

“Ok toilet, here’s your breakfast!”

[jos @josiahhughes]

way too big

[Aaron Selbig @aaronselbig]

@protectedpick Hey, Mike, would y’all ever consider changing the name of the pod to Ethical Hoops with Mike and Sam?

[pj @pjayevans]

mfs who play the piano are like look at me im good at buttons

[jorts 🇵🇸 @ftmensch]

mail is cool because 99% of the time it’s like a J.c. penney catalogue for a previous tenant and 1% of the time it’s something you’ll go to jail for if you don’t look at

[Aaron Selbig @aaronselbig]

Did Michael Scott write the tagline for this movie?

[Napoleon @NapoleonMovie]

He came from nothing. He conquered everything. From acclaimed director Ridley Scott, #Napoleon is exclusively in movie theaters this Thanksgiving. Watch the official trailer now.

[Aaron Selbig @aaronselbig]

@damnarbor Nice

[Aaron Selbig @aaronselbig]

@michael_shonn @scooperhoops Louisville resident checking in. This is definitely a basketball town and I think the city could support an NBA team. I’m already designing the city edition “River City” unis in my head lol.

[Emily May @emilykmay]

My hot take is that millennials are actually better at technology than Gen Z because we had access to technology when it was BAD and unintuitive and everything gave you a virus and we HTML coded our MySpace pages.

[Aaron Selbig @aaronselbig]

@solisolsoli Why are the other two cats just sitting there? Get in there and get ya some milk, dummies!

[ProPublica @propublica]

A Chicago cop got out of 44 tickets by saying over and over that his girlfriend stole his car.

And it worked.

All 44 times, his tickets were dismissed. 👇🧵

[Jake Neher @GJNeher]

Happy survival day for all of us who made it and please remember that these kinds of posts were the result of a coordinated political messaging choice.

[Aaron Selbig @aaronselbig]

@SpiderInStckngs It gives you more control in snowy, icy conditions.

[Aaron Selbig @aaronselbig]

@AKMatty Not a lawyer but sounds legal.

[Aaron Selbig @aaronselbig]

@AKMatty How do you propose to kill this eagle?

[trash jones @jzux]

if you can’t handle me at my worst then we have that in common

[Ben Boven @benboven1]

If you burned CDs for the car so your original copies wouldn't get scratched, it's time to schedule your colonoscopy.