CRABBIE

OXFORD COMMA.

[CRABBIE @abbiekayyy]

Apparently "what's your favorite root vegetable" is not a great pick up line on Bumble.

[CRABBIE @abbiekayyy]

@AerLingus 2.5 hours on hold with customer service only to be hung up on? Do better.

[michaela okland @MichaelaOkla]

I have to take photos of myself bc I have a crush now it’s actually really fucked up

[CRABBIE @abbiekayyy]

Ok but when Rue said loss was a bigger feeling than love. OOF RUE. OOF.

[CRABBIE @abbiekayyy]

Green flag: wants to raise his kids like the parents of Olive Pendergast in Easy A.

[CRABBIE @abbiekayyy]

HAHAHA REMEMBER WHEN HE WAS REALLY JUST A DISMISSIVE AVOIDANT NARCISSIST WHO WAS LOVE BOMBING THE SHIT OUT OF ME AND TOLD ME HE NEEDED TO DATE SOMEONE DUMBER THAN ME AS HE WAS BREAKING UP WITH ME?

[CRABBIE @abbiekayyy]

Hello 911? I found a man who specifically turned his read receipts on for me without me asking because he knows I’m an anxious freak.

[CRABBIE @abbiekayyy]

Hello mommy’s back. And she’s unhinged. NORMALIZE BEING A FUCKING PSYCHO IN 2022!!!!

[CRABBIE @abbiekayyy]

Imposter Syndrome Sundays amiright?

[CRABBIE @abbiekayyy]

Sometimes being an adult means standing in your kitchen in your underwear with the lights off anxiously eating half a jar of cornichon pickles.

[CRABBIE @abbiekayyy]

Except maybe the sociopath line.

[CRABBIE @abbiekayyy]

My biggest flex is not being able to relate to @Olivia_Rodrigo’s good 4 u 👀

[CRABBIE @abbiekayyy]

It’s actually a scientific fact that if you don’t sob uncontrollably when Jamie puts the cape on Q’s coffin, you’re inhuman and should be curb stomped.

[CRABBIE @abbiekayyy]

Jury trial days are my favorite days. I love my job.

[CRABBIE @abbiekayyy]

Consider this my official complaint and petition for financial compensation for having been put through Kevin Federline's abysmal "performance" as Jason on Season 5 of OTH.

[CRABBIE @abbiekayyy]

Alright Twitter I’m back and I have some thoughts. First of all, whose godforsaken idea was it to include the Peyton/Pete Wentz storyline on One Tree Hill and why did they feel like we needed to be put through that, collectively?

[CRABBIE @abbiekayyy]

Additionally, I feel like we gave Chad Michael Murray a pass he did not deserve. LEST WE NOT FORGET HIS NAME IS LITERALLY CHAD??!

[CRABBIE @abbiekayyy]

Not me texting my therapist at 7:30 on a Sunday asking for her availability on our off week because my mental health is THRIVING.

[CRABBIE @abbiekayyy]

Truthfully, getting a little teary for all of the Billikens who won’t get to experience (in person) Freddy P. declaring them sons and daughters of Saint Louis University forever.

[Dave @lildickytweets]

Retweet if you want a season 2

[CRABBIE @abbiekayyy]

Apparently week 8 of quarantine is when you deep clean your fridge out of boredom.