abby moller

hateful woman✨

[abby moller @abbycadabby33]

Loving being single, further exploring the ancient mystery of where men get their endless supply of audacity and nerve from

[abby moller @abbycadabby33]

Nothing gives me worse body or face dysmorphia than the pictures that my parents take of me. I don’t know who that repulsive, malformed person is but I wish she wasn’t posted all of my mother’s Facebook

[abby moller @abbycadabby33]

What weapon should I carry to assault the cars of people who almost hit me while I’m running? Just in a silly, vengeful mood!!! :p

[abby moller @abbycadabby33]

Life was really put into perspective for me today as I was chased by a feral turkey on my evening run. For the horrifying moments that I was hauling ass and it was squawking at me, it was a predator and I was its prey

[abby moller @abbycadabby33]

Life imitates art

[The Dodo @dodo]

Woman develops the sweetest bond with the bee she rescued ❤️️

[The Daily Show @TheDailyShow]

Good point. The Constitution clearly says “A state’s electors can be won if the president’s second dumbest son calls dibs.”

[abby moller @abbycadabby33]

Fiscally, I’m liberal
Socially, I’m inept

[Mike Drucker @MikeDrucker]

coronavirus stand back and stand by

[hunter harris @hunteryharris]

blake shelton being named sexiest man alive was the beginning of the end

[abby moller @abbycadabby33]

If you give a rat a flapjack

[Caitlin @caithuls]

To whoever gets him next... he’s a rat ❤️ but he’s also a chef 💔

[Christin @hexprax]

I’m trying to think what would make me react this way. Maybe a hamster that could speak English

[abby moller @abbycadabby33]

Me auditioning to be one of the watermelon in Harry Styles’ music video for Watermelon Sugar

[abby moller @abbycadabby33]

@bly_courtney The E. Coli surfing through your intestines

[abby moller @abbycadabby33]

No officer I wasn’t texting while driving, you probably saw me swerving all over the road because I was digging through my trail mix trying to pick out all the raisins. That’s probably what you saw flying out the window. Won’t happen again

[abby moller @abbycadabby33]

My mom asked her middle school students for ideas as to what we should name our foal that was born almost 2 weeks ago. Here are my favorite suggestions:

[abby moller @abbycadabby33]

If you like to throw garbage out of your car onto the side of the road, I hope you rot❤️😘