Jared

Seattle fan only! Go Huskies Kraken Hawks Mariners and Sonics(Rip) for now. Metal and MMA enthusiast.

[Jared @abr247]

@A_Jude This was Dan Wilson’s fault

[Jared @abr247]

@strain4brain You are a dork

[Jared @abr247]

@TridentTrue All dan Wilson’s fault

[Jared @abr247]

@TridentTrue Dan Wilson’s fault

[Jared @abr247]

@TridentTrue It’s all Dan’s fault

[Jared @abr247]

@MarinerMuse It’s all Dan’s fault

[Jared @abr247]

@MarinerMuse This is all Dan‘s fault not the players at all. The manager should be better.

[Jared @abr247]

@Softykjr Where are all the angry Mariner fans

[Jared @abr247]

@Softykjr Or you are saving your bullpen, which can be extremely useful.

[Jared @abr247]

@AngryMariners Settle down dork.

[Jared @abr247]

@RyanDivish Yeah no shit

[Jared @abr247]

@Softykjr This is all dan Wilson’s fault he should be hitting for the players also.

[Jared @abr247]

@MarinerMuse This is all Wilson’s fault. How dare he put his players in the best positions to succeed

[Jared @abr247]

@Softykjr It’s definitely Wilson’s fault our offense can’t hit totally all on him.

[Jared @abr247]

@LastEndBoss @BrendanSchaub Go to bed dork.

[Jared @abr247]

@MarinerMuse Shut up dork

[Scott White @CBSScottWhite]

Most effective sales pitch I've ever seen. Guy rings my doorbell. Says his name is Flash, like the superhero. Points to my neighbor's house and says he just found something living along the siding of it. He then holds up a Ziploc bag containing the gnarliest looking spider I've ever seen, which I immediately take to be a black widow. I notice his other arm is holding a clipboard jammed with more Ziploc bags, each containing its own black widow. He gives me his spiel about how they're attracted to new construction neighborhoods like mine and that if I let him examine my property, he'll show me.

He carries just one of the Ziploc bags with him. This new specimen is going to have to share. He points to one nest, but he can't locate the spider. Says they're really good at hiding. He points to another. Same thing. It's with the THIRD that he finds paydirt. He then treats me to the exhilarating spectacle of him scooping it up with a BIC pen and then shaking it into the bag (which already contains another black widow, remember). It does not go smoothly. He has a moment of distress during the extraction and indicates afterward that it's the closest he's ever gotten to getting bitten. He then tells me they're coming through the neighborhood tomorrow and that the houses they skip are going to get a higher concentration of whatever bugs are driven out.

Yes, take my money.

[Jared @abr247]

@SilentGarrett Lol bro I don’t think 95% of people care. Sing about whatever you want and put out some
Banger songs They’re are a million
bands your fans will be your fans.

[Jared @abr247]

@JaredStanger lol ok dork