Alf

BBQ Enthusiast | Chapel Hill, NC | Wisconsin Engineering 2020

[Alf @adam_alf0]

Scones go unappreciated far too often. This injustice ends now #SconeGang2k18

[Alf @adam_alf0]

Official website address https://t.co/7CnA8q5ewy
@ashley_himm @mattliciousness @s_egan18 @changepod @Garyhill_ @zander2490 @akgholston0 @critesvidemanja @brevinowens @Matt_Duffy1

[Alf @adam_alf0]

Official website address https://t.co/kJ3f4gCkJS
@_tayrose @Lporcelli3 @rangiheuea @emmyg824 @savageleigh @s_egan18 @JoeGorka @ityprashant @zander2490 @Matt_Duffy1

[ClickHole @ClickHole]

Two Years Ago, This Man Was 500 Pounds. Now He Is Two Men Who Weigh 250 Pounds.

[Alf @adam_alf0]

@hanhanrasner Don't do it.

[Alf @adam_alf0]

XXXtentacion was a violent homophobe who abused women. Making music that is shitty or mediocre at best doesn't make him deserve any compassion. Don't look up to or mourn horrible people

[Alf @adam_alf0]

TSA agent: Sir you can't have more than a few fluid oz of liquid, I'm gonna have to check your bag

*Pulls out Smirnoff ice*

Them: lol fkn got me bro *gets on one knee and crushes it*

[Alf @adam_alf0]

All these little kids at the theatre to see incredibles 2 don't know shit. I've been waiting to see what Jack Jack's powers are for 14 damn years

[Alf @adam_alf0]

The hardest part about being an atheist is not knowing what entity I should make human sacrifices to

[Alf @adam_alf0]

Spaghetti-NO's https://t.co/3veyf4cRyM

[Alf @adam_alf0]

Looking for someone with a small bumblebee costume that my sister and I can have my dog wear. SERIOUS INQUIRIES ONLY

[Alf @adam_alf0]

When Superman has sex, do you think he wears his cape?

[Alf @adam_alf0]

Hey, vegans: meat and cheese "substitutes" are sacrilegious. You should all be ashamed of yourselves.

[Alf @adam_alf0]

Update: thanks to the overwhelming support of my loyal twitter followers I have updated my Linked In skills. Thanks all.

[Alf @adam_alf0]

Is "Makes a mean grilled cheese sandwich" an acceptable skill to put on my linked in profile

[Alf @adam_alf0]

As a straight white male who has been referred to as such, I can say with certainty that this is the dumbest shit I've ever read in my entire life https://t.co/198twHnjEa

[Josh Denny @JoshDenny]

“Straight White Male” has become this century’s N-Word. It’s used to offend and diminish the recipient based on assumption and bias. No difference in the usage.

[debo @killmefam]

How I Increased My Testotserone 56% In 48 Hours https://t.co/ZJ6863NGob

[ClickHole @ClickHole]

My Grandfather Came To This Country With Nothing But His Juicy Couture Sweatpants And The Perfect Ass To Fill Those Things Out https://t.co/slCTFcbVwq

[Alf @adam_alf0]

Iced coffee szn

[Alf @adam_alf0]

I've peaked

[Alf @adam_alf0]

Can't wait to be a dad. Not the whole having kids part.... just being able to wear socks with sandals and tell horrible jokes without judgement