Aidworkerjesus

Wherever thou findeth the least of thy brothers and sisters, I am there. In a landcruiser.

[Aidworkerjesus @AidWorkerJesus]

Follow the #aidcommandments.

Offer up thine #aidprayers.

Study the #aidparables.

Sing the #aidcarols.

Do this in memory of me.

[Aidworkerjesus @AidWorkerJesus]

🎄🎶 🎄🎶🎄🎶🎄🎶

All of the Rakhine reindeer
Used to laugh and call them names
Because dehumanization
Is the first step toward crimes against humanity

🎄🎶🎄🎶🎄🎶🎄🎶
#aidcarols 🎅��

[Aidworkerjesus @AidWorkerJesus]

Rudolph the Rohingya reindeer
Crossed the border on the midnight tide;
And if you heard his story,
You would call it genocide...

#aidcarols

[Aidworkerjesus @AidWorkerJesus]

God rest ye, humanitarian
You start R&R today
Turn off your phone and lock the door
And sleep until next May

#aidcarols

[Aidworkerjesus @AidWorkerJesus]

🎄🎶🎄🎶🎄🎶🎄

Long time ago down in Washington
So my holy logframe say,
Someone dreamed up indicators
That make no sense in any way...

🎄🎶🎄🎶🎄🎶🎄

#aidcarols🎅🏽

[Elliot Seeger @reseeger]

🎼🎅🏽🎉
Oh, the context outside is frightful,
And our research plan is so abysmal,
But since we’re just an NGO,
Give us dough!
Give us dough!
Give us dough!
🎼🎅🏽🎉
@AidWorkerJesus #aidcarols

[C for Concerned @jagooli]

Oh Cluster-lead, oh Cluster-lead
I wish we'd have less meetings

#aidcarols
#seriously

[Aidworkerjesus @AidWorkerJesus]

‘Twas the night before Christmas
And in the Juba teamhouse
Not a creature was stirring
LOL j/k
There’s basically a cockroach party happening in the kitchen

#aidcarols🎄

[Aidworkerjesus @AidWorkerJesus]

🎶🎄🎶

Last Christmas, I distributed my heart
The very next day this GIK was traded away
This year, no feedback I'll fear
Cash transfers are more successful*

🎶🎄🎶

#aidcarols

* subject to EMMA

[Aidworkerjesus @AidWorkerJesus]

🎶🎄🎶

And so this is Christmas
And what have you done?
No, seriously, the M&E team is asking.

🎶🎄🎶

#aidcarols

[Aidworkerjesus @AidWorkerJesus]

Truly one of the Lord’s greatest miracles, even if I do say so myself.

Blessed art thou @RichardShumann, may thine IAD return-flight rows be empty forevermore

[Aidworkerjesus @AidWorkerJesus]

2. Multisector cash is the Elvis of humanitarian interventions 🕺🏻

Even when you’re the King, you can still die in the latrine

🧵

[Aidworkerjesus @AidWorkerJesus]

The End Times are nigh.

Leave it all on and/or in the field, O brethren and sistren.

And the Lord shalt lead the way.

Ungodly humanitarian hot takes, a thread 🧵

1. Western INGOs have a critical role to play in #localization, and it is to go bankrupt and die 💅🏽

[Aidworkerjesus @AidWorkerJesus]

Now that the end times are nigh, any tweet might be The Lord’s last contribution to twitter scripture.

Should the Lord reveal who writeth His tweets?

[Aidworkerjesus @AidWorkerJesus]

Now that the end times are nigh, any tweet might be The Lord’s last contribution to twitter scripture.

Should the Lord reveal who writeth His tweets?

[Rania R @raniarajji]

@AidWorkerJesus will be truly missed for thy reminds us poor earthlings that we need to laugh of our self-righteousness. Can thy promise me the kingdoms of heaven now? Please?

[Aidworkerjesus @AidWorkerJesus]

@texasinafrica The real treasure was the friends that AFRICOM made along the way.

[Mehdi Hasan @mehdirhasan]

Think of people around the world tonight who need Twitter to get their voices heard, to document human rights abuses and injustices, to get attention, expose war crimes, and more.

All of them could be about to be cut off because the world’s richest man wanted to own the libs.

[Aidworkerjesus @AidWorkerJesus]

@JeremyKonyndyk Don’t get too excited, the Second Coming of the Lord is a sign of the end times

[Aidworkerjesus @AidWorkerJesus]

Follow the #aidcommandments.

Offer up thine #aidprayers.

Study the #aidparables.

Sing the #aidcarols.

Do this in memory of me.

[Aidworkerjesus @AidWorkerJesus]

Writing AWJ was always about coping & catharisis for this (now former) humanitarian worker.

The weirder & worser the lived response realities, the firmer AWJ’s tongue went into the cheek.

And despite what the current site owner says, we should always offer up all of our cheek.

[Aidworkerjesus @AidWorkerJesus]

▪️Make fake twitter account
▪️Confess and achieve catharsis for thine own blunders
▪️Afflict the powerful when thine mood strikes
▪️???
▪️Prophet