Kitten Canoodle

I've twice opened a bottle of wine with a screw and pliers - @evanecclestone scrounges my leftovers

[Kitten Canoodle @aJadedJ]

@occupied_stall I'm with Freedom. I've been hotspotting my data all day for family.

[Kitten Canoodle @aJadedJ]

Harem of deceit 😂

I'm glad I dodged that bs.

Its nice when things work out in the end, living a better life without

[ᏚᎢᎬᎬᏞ ™ @TheWidowmakerX]

and then one day your name didn't haunt me anymore

[K @UghShh]

I'll set your house and your heart on fire

[Scruffy @UnimpressedWU]

If you turn my intellect on, we are both fucked

[K @UghShh]

I'm a shitty person shoved inside a cute body so you're too distracted by tits to notice for a while

[Adam @yaboy_adam]

I hate when music reminds me of good times with someone who is no longer part of my life. Life is changing constantly.

[Kitten Canoodle @aJadedJ]

@occupied_stall That's the only way I eat ramen.

[K @UghShh]

I appreciate it when someone makes things weird before I have to

[eLeni @eleniZarro]

If gmail ever switches to ‘limited storage’ my 15k undeleted emails and I are screwed

[Doug Bies @dougbies]

Relationship goals: you like them as much as you like grilled cheese sandwiches

[Nikki Haverstock @RancherNikki]

I’d make a great cartoon character cause I would be perfectly happy wearing the same outfit for the rest of my life.

[Hunter the Bounty Dog @huntergraybeal]

According to autocorrect, my favorite Star Wars character is Bob’s Feet.

[Kitten Canoodle @aJadedJ]

@ReneLaVice 🙋‍♀️🙋‍♀️🙋‍♀️🙋‍♀️

[Kitten Canoodle @aJadedJ]

@SimplySquawking That'll be me soon enough.

[☠Êv¡£☠Genius☠ @That_Damn_Duck]

I wish pushing people out of my life burned more calories.

[LaLaLyds @LaLa_Lyds]

C'mere and dip your french toast stick in my maple syrup

[Kitten Canoodle @aJadedJ]

@LeahsLounge Marry my ex for sure.

[MELapalooza 🐈⚽️��🍾 @MELisCrazyInAZ]

My sex tape is just me laying in a bed of cookie crumbs, crying because its morning again.