Fupaloompa

Secret Agent Randy Beans

[Fupaloompa @ajhasligma]

Trump could shoot 15 newborn babies in the head with a gun on live TV and these dumb fucks would still support him

[Fupaloompa @ajhasligma]

Dressed up to go to the church this morning #fat

[Fupaloompa @ajhasligma]

Just hooped against someone that had loose change jingling in his pocket for 3 straight games. You can already imagine what his game was like

[Fupaloompa @ajhasligma]

@meat_man0174 Mute spitta

[Fupaloompa @ajhasligma]

Alright the cats out of the bag. Yes, I was one of Wilt Chamberlain’s 20,000 bodies.

[Fupaloompa @ajhasligma]

I already know when those cavemen invented language they were running box and 1s on sabertooth tigers

[Fupaloompa @ajhasligma]

Has there ever been a time in the Anthropocene when there wasn’t war or conflict? I think we’re just built for killin bruh

[Fupaloompa @ajhasligma]

Feeling the warmth on the seat from the guy who used the stall before me

[Fupaloompa @ajhasligma]

At this rate the next Dalai Lama will be from Omaha Nebraska

[Fupaloompa @ajhasligma]

Unfortunate that I was deemed ineligible for the FBI job I just applied for. I was gonna do great things for Uncle Sam one 25 min bathroom break at a time.

[Fupaloompa @ajhasligma]

Sitting next to a Mormon couple on my flight and they are TWEAKING. Idk whether it’s their fear of flying or that I told them that they’re wrong

[Fupaloompa @ajhasligma]

It’s cool to me that dogs understand that babies are babies and not just small humans

[Fupaloompa @ajhasligma]

As soon as I go fully bald I feel like my only options are:
1. Get extremely jacked
2. Own a successful tech company
3. Be really into mushroom foraging
4. Biker gang

[Fupaloompa @ajhasligma]

Imagine how good Lebron would be at basketball if he had a gambling addiction

[Fupaloompa @ajhasligma]

So what do I do when I’m helping two people soak and I finish before them?

[Fupaloompa @ajhasligma]

Trump just can’t stop appointing rapists can he 😂

[Fupaloompa @ajhasligma]

My friends dick is bigger than yours bro

[Fupaloompa @ajhasligma]

I need to get off Twitter

[Fupaloompa @ajhasligma]

@hatercatalogue Put em on

[Fupaloompa @ajhasligma]

If I came across an uncontacted tribe on an island I’d first show them 50 Cent In da Club and Kobe’s 81 point game