Sage R.

I get paid to smoke weed and watch Dodger games.
I also like lake houses.

[Sage R. @akaSagge]

Do you understand how stupid it is that you can have a Jeep that isn't a Jeep and a Jeep that's not a Jeep

[Sage R. @akaSagge]

@RyanWardLA Don't forget that raider black n silver!

[hunter @3gpmh]

haven’t had sex in months they’re gonna build a spirit halloween inside me

[Ontario Tower Buzzers @towerbuzzers]

Out of respect for Jayden Daniels we scored more than 5 runs tonight

[Sage R. @akaSagge]

Planned Parenthood is trying to tell me the condition of my eggs. Please doc I know they're scrambled! *laugh track*

I can't have children

[Sage R. @akaSagge]

That mf dog on every single Raising Cane's lures me in every time just for him to fool me with cafeteria food @Bob_Barker do something please

[Sage R. @akaSagge]

Waiting at the Hobby Lobby parking lot in grey sweatpants spawn camping the milfs

[Sage R. @akaSagge]

Getting kicked out of the work carpool because I was diving with no lifeguard o duty

[Tarik Skubal @TarikSkubal]

I hate when my parents decide to get on the interent and make me lag on MW3 #COD4LIFE#BROTHERBONDING

[ski @BAEHELPBRY]

white bitch say i’m the first nigga in her house, obama

[Sage R. @akaSagge]

@FTumblnachos *Bad to the bone riff while reading*

[Neanderthal @BugsC0llector]

Could bees locked in a massive greenhouse full of flowering marijuana make THC horny???

[abigail * ੈ✩‧˚ @sugamoozi]

it can’t always be new york someone gotta hold it down in downey california

[Sage R. @akaSagge]

@joerogan A podcast called Hoetell (pronunced Hotel) in which you gather prostitutes to tell about their experiences but have it set in a crappy hotel.

[Sage R. @akaSagge]

Blasian restaurant called "Wok em down"

[Sage R. @akaSagge]

@FTumblnachos Pretty sure it's what a magician says after making toast appear

[RC (34inXXIII) @34inXXIII]

BREAKING: The Los Angeles Dodgers have acquired the Cincinnati Reds and assigned them to AAA Oklahoma City.

[Dan El Captain @Mrstanleycup]

Breaking news: Dodgers have signed relief pitcher Jesus Christ, and are in deep talks with the ghost of Babe Ruth.

[David Cochran @DavidCochranVP]

I treat hot women like an 0-2 count and fat women like a 3-1 count. #thatsmyproblem

[Sage R. @akaSagge]

Every time I lose on the Michael Jackson Official Slot Machine™ he says "Shamone" I'm waiting desperately for the day he says "Hee-hee OWWWW HOOHOOOOO YEAH MY BABY MY BAAA YEAAAA". That'll be the day. @kevinjonas