disappointment sharma

into poetry (rupi kaur), cinema (salman khan movies only) and fries (just potato, no funny business when it comes to fries)

[disappointment sharma @akshoutsharma]

@pimpyush hi, please dm!

[mahenoor @ajeebakwaas]

find myself thinking about this a lot lately

[Matilda @mansebanjaran]

two blues pretending not to know each other

[Ethan Brooks @alt_w_v_g]

Wife made me go to couples therapy last week

Nice office

Two couches

Box of tissues

The therapist asked what brings us in

My wife said "he treats everything like a transaction"

I said "that's not true"

The therapist asked me to give an example of something I do that isn't transactional

I thought about it for 11 seconds

I could not think of an example

The therapist asked how that made me feel

I said "efficient"

My wife looked at the therapist

The therapist looked at my wife

They had a moment

I was not part of the moment

My wife said "do you love me?"

I said "I chose you. Every day I choose you. That's not emotion. That's a commitment with a compounding return and I don't see a better alternative in the market."

The room went quiet

My wife cried

The therapist cried

I didn't understand why

That was the most romantic thing I've ever said

The therapist said "I think we should meet weekly"

I said "what's your hourly rate?"

She said "$275"

I said "for both of us or each?"

My wife picked up her purse and walked out

I stayed to negotiate the rate

Got it down to $250

Small win

Sent from my iPhone

[Asa @xAsamoahx]

my roommate is 2 days younger than me so i've gotten into the habit of saying' when i was your age..' and then describing what i did 2 days ago

[noa @theloumand]

my beautiful friend watched my favourite film and gave it five stars. life is so beautiful. there is beauty in everything. This is what it’s all about

[Jett 🜲 @iky_fwjett]

by age 26, you should have have:

- a failed youtube career
- a foreign film you watched accidentally yet always recommend
- an unfinished 12 chapter fanfiction
- an unfounded hatred for tiktok
- had enough

[Mikael @BacardiCapital]

Threw up after my 7th margarita, guess I'm allergic to limes

[chance @chanceposts]

Dudes named Frank will be like “let me be frank” but they already are

[fooler initiative @metroadlib]

when we have a moment, I'd like to discuss this unit if measurement please.

[꩜ @faeslily]

this is very important

[tendollar @tendollardanny]

everything i say is a joke. unless of course it isn’t

[Dick Miller, M.D. @BJones18245]

What’s your 5 beer plan? Where do you see yourself in 5 beers?

[rue yi @ruebytwo]

You make culture by participating in it

[ishaanhere @ishaanad9]

last in my bloodline by the looks of it.