🐀🏒🐀everybody's dad🔥🏀🔥

Creative Director of the Doonesbury Cinematic Universe

[🐀🏒🐀everybody's dad🔥🏀🔥 @albert_is]

@PostOpinions @asymmetricinfo Hadn’t heard from Megan McGriddle in a bit. Good to know she’s just as fucking stupid as ever

[🐀🏒🐀everybody's dad🔥🏀🔥 @albert_is]

@MotherAia

[🐀🏒🐀everybody's dad🔥🏀🔥 @albert_is]

FIRE MCCULLOUGH TONIGHT @marlins. SEND HIM HOME WITH HIS SHIT IN A BOX TONIGHT

[🐀🏒🐀everybody's dad🔥🏀🔥 @albert_is]

Getting sprayed by a skunk and getting revenge by sharting on it

[🐀🏒🐀everybody's dad🔥🏀🔥 @albert_is]

@poetrysecrets He did not sign there intending for it to be that but had a nice chuckle when he realized

[🐀🏒🐀everybody's dad🔥🏀🔥 @albert_is]

I am an atheist and do not believe in hell, but if there is one it's for him

[🐀🏒🐀everybody's dad🔥🏀🔥 @albert_is]

@andrewcuomo @ZohranKMamdani And you got knocked out in the first, dipshit

[🐀🏒🐀everybody's dad🔥🏀🔥 @albert_is]

@boygrrI I'm from Florida. You're not wrong

[🐀🏒🐀everybody's dad🔥🏀🔥 @albert_is]

@doinkpatrol Was just telling someone that the yankees innate cop tendencies are gonna lead to the dumbest arguments of all time over the definition of "well-groomed"

[🐀🏒🐀everybody's dad🔥🏀🔥 @albert_is]

@lukeisamazing We need reddit atheism to make a comeback. Less Islamophobia this time, but it's time has come again

[🐀🏒🐀everybody's dad🔥🏀🔥 @albert_is]

@jacobdotgov It's the only way they get to see a US national team outside of the Olympics or a world cup. The people yearn for regular international basketball

[🐀🏒🐀everybody's dad🔥🏀🔥 @albert_is]

@SweatieAngle Only one I can find for sale in the all black design I can find for sale

https://t.co/Ggi9MoAiye

[🐀🏒🐀everybody's dad🔥🏀🔥 @albert_is]

@willmenaker I need to see chiefs lose again. Also maybe the Dolphins winning but I’m just trying to be realistic

[🐀🏒🐀everybody's dad🔥🏀🔥 @albert_is]

@wtyppod Before I hit place order on this, will this be a different show than the May 2nd show or will I be seeing the same show twice if I go to both?

[🐀🏒🐀everybody's dad🔥🏀🔥 @albert_is]

@RobSchneider Your daughter's gonna skip your funeral

[🐀🏒🐀everybody's dad🔥🏀🔥 @albert_is]

.@spotify is there some way I cam make sure you never recommend Theo Von's stupid fucking podcast to me again like you just did? It's weird that you did considering I've never listened to him or anyone like him before and don't listen to podcasts on Spotify at all

[🐀🏒🐀everybody's dad🔥🏀🔥 @albert_is]

@jazzanchovy You'll find the places where you really enjoy using it. I always use it on the train for some peace and quiet in my commute. The transparency mode is the one I use way more often, though

[🐀🏒🐀everybody's dad🔥🏀🔥 @albert_is]

@J0hnnyXm4s @zingingcutie22 Did...did he absorb the teeth? Are they part of him now? Is he stronger because of the teeth?

[🐀🏒🐀everybody's dad🔥🏀🔥 @albert_is]

@ettingermentum Not sure about this but he'd absolutely be a front runner if he'd run for senate against Cornyn in 2020 instead of president

[🐀🏒🐀everybody's dad🔥🏀🔥 @albert_is]

I say “tumy rumbing” a lot

[guy named balls @bobsredmilf]

what are posts that aren’t load-bearing anywhere but your personal lexicon. like the ones that weren’t really popular but are so enshrined in your mind that you just assume they got hundreds of thousands of likes