Alexis

I have had twitter for almost 10 years. I will use it now. You’re welcome.

[Alexis @alexisjbd]

A scooby doo-themed cocktail blog called “those muddling kids.”

[Alexis @alexisjbd]

My favorite thing about anonymous Facebook posts is learning that some people are embarrassed to ask for a locksmith recommendation.

[Alexis @alexisjbd]

@TheGurglingCod 313

[Alexis @alexisjbd]

Hey ad geniuses, I am going to be disappointed if @novonordiskus doesn’t get in touch with @thepixiesmusic because every time I read the word #ozempic I sing it to the tune of “Gigantic,” and you know, it really fits.

[Alexis @alexisjbd]

So, I guess we have transitioned from avoiding indoor air to avoiding outdoor air.

[Alexis @alexisjbd]

Sooo, Loveshackfancy is just shabby chic but make it sexy, right?

[Alexis @alexisjbd]

I think the restriction on purse size at concerts and sporting events is showing America that the quietly powerful cargo shorts industry and their lobbists are winning.

[Alexis @alexisjbd]

Are all medical office staff really in some kind of unison frenzied eating and relaxation situation between 12-1pm?

[Alexis @alexisjbd]

My phone autocapitalizes the first letter whenever I write Nevermind in a text as if I am always talking about Nirvana.

[Alexis @alexisjbd]

@RealChrisCal In the 90s remotes had a “picture” button. No excessive menu… just a button next to “channel” and “volume” to control brightness. We have moved backwards. And I will refrain from my rant about “smart sound” that my 13” tube tv had….

[Alexis @alexisjbd]

My favorite thing about the halftime show is that it causes grannies to become enraged. I want to know what they built it up in their minds to potentially be before tuning in. (The answer is a Broadway medley of songs written before 1965)

[Alexis @alexisjbd]

@adriennenutter More people should be her for Halloween.

[Alexis @alexisjbd]

Seeing all of the talk about the movie M3gan, I can’t help but want to binge watch Small Wonder.

[Alexis @alexisjbd]

I want to go back to the glorious days when it was totally unacceptable to cough in public.

[Alexis @alexisjbd]

“A Very Tom Brady Christmas”

[owen cyclops @owenbroadcast]

the bad guy in hallmark movies is a boyfriend who is like “uh no babe i cant drop everything + leave work this weekend im about to close a deal for ten million dollars that will set us up for life” and the good guy is a guy who is just standing there when she gets to her hometown

[Alexis @alexisjbd]

Pauly Shore and Richard Simmons are twins.

[Alexis @alexisjbd]

@CNBC @Rockport better close the blinds and pretend they aren’t home- he is on his way!

[Ken Jennings @KenJennings]

I know there’s a lot going on in the world but at least once a day, we should be thinking about how the valet who borrows Ferris Bueller’s car was also the original drummer in Sonic Youth.

[Alexis @alexisjbd]

Why have there been so many famous people named Bobby Brown? I mean there’s regular Bobby Brown, Bobbi Brown makeup, 90s model Bobbie Brown, and Millie Bobby Brown. It’s so many!

[Alexis @alexisjbd]

I finally wore flare-leg jeans and some platform clogs again, and you know, it’s so good to be back.