Alex Kozolanka

Cartoon character trapped in the body of a human man.

[Alex Kozolanka @AlexKoz]

@jonahmbayer @chrisfarren @thebrianfallon This tweet has "Pro-Ghoul" energy.

[Alex Kozolanka @AlexKoz]

Make @briancgrubb the new Try Guy. He will do a good job.

[Alex Kozolanka @AlexKoz]

Nana - "You have to look for Delicata squash."
My wife - "That's the squash @JustinMcElroy likes."

[Alex Kozolanka @AlexKoz]

@arkellsmusic @lights "Show over by 10" might be the four greatest words an elder millennial concert goer can read.

[Alex Kozolanka @AlexKoz]

@scottheisel @chrisfarren What school could be so horrifying?

[Alex Kozolanka @AlexKoz]

ShamWow for my real friends, real "Ow" for my sham friends.

[Alex Kozolanka @AlexKoz]

Shout-out to the three passengers on my flight watching Miss Congeniality, Gravity, and The Blind Side respectively. We stan Sandy B on AC105 to Vancouver.

[Alex Kozolanka @AlexKoz]

Glad to see other people enjoyed the new @sophiebuddle stand-up special too.

[Jack Aling @AlingMedia]

The Godfather but it came out in 2007

[Alex Kozolanka @AlexKoz]

. @Hasbro

[Melissa Kozolanka @MelKozofficial]

*in the key of Phil Collins* 🎶 She's an easy oven, she cooks a cupcake with a light bulb 🎶

[Alex Kozolanka @AlexKoz]

SO IT'S SUMMER 1999 - NEITHER GUY HAS ANY BUSINESS BEING AT THE TOP OF THE CHARTS AT THAT TIME. BUT SOMEHOW IT JUST FUCKING WORKED AND THEY MADE ONE OF THE BIGGEST SONGS OF THE DECADE. THEY ORIGINALLY WANTED GEORGE MICHAEL ON THE VOCALS BUT SANTANA LOVED ROB'S DE-

[Alex Kozolanka @AlexKoz]

@SammyRaeMusic I have two tickets to your Toronto show (GA Balcony) that I can unfortunately no longer use. Not looking for $$$, just hoping to give them to a fan for whom cost might be a barrier to attending.

[Jennifer McAuliffe @JenniferJokes]

There’s no “miss or mrs” version for unmarried men, you just have to use your wits to decide if no one loves him and treat him accordingly, like a collarless cat outdoors

[Ryan Perry @rynprry]

replaced rob thomas' Smooth microphone with a dilly bar. a refreshing treat for our sweltering king.

[Steven Hyden @Steven_Hyden]

Hardcore has truly gone mainstream.

[Matthew Surina @matthewsurina]

Come on Disney, don't be cowards, it's a billion dollar idea.

[Alex Kozolanka @AlexKoz]

@peggythrill seeing friends enjoy things is nice!

[Alex Kozolanka @AlexKoz]

The only thing I love more than my wife is yelling "Ladies and gentlemen - we got him!" when I catch a mouse in a trap.

[Alex Kozolanka @AlexKoz]

The only thing my wife loves more than me is writing a grocery list and putting "milk, milk, lemonade" on it.

[Alex Kozolanka @AlexKoz]

"I would die before I set a boundary." - @BrennanLM I feel very seen. (Everyone - subscribe to @dropout app and watch the latest @DirtyLaundryDO , a 10/10 episode)