Allie Mayne♛

nothing to see here

[Allie Mayne♛ @alliemayne]

Lesbians are the worst tippers.
(Except me)

[Allie Mayne♛ @alliemayne]

We’re laughin over here

[Allie Mayne♛ @alliemayne]

I think we’re at 332 hours
But who’s counting

[Allie Mayne♛ @alliemayne]

215 hours closer to never serving again!

[Allie Mayne♛ @alliemayne]

@lexxxisszn 3, with my supervision.

[Allie Mayne♛ @alliemayne]

Just standing here watching Queer Eye while 3 maintenance men try to fix the ceiling fan in my dining room 💅🏼

[Allie Mayne♛ @alliemayne]

I’m training the tiktok algorithm to think I’m a British person,
so far so good.

[Allie Mayne♛ @alliemayne]

The universe is being magnetic today

[lana del slay @lanadelslayee]

you’re in his dm’s . i’m in everyone’s dm’s. i took 20mg of adderall and i have something specific to say to each and every one of you.

[trash jones @jzux]

me: heyyyyyy girlllll

the drawing board: you again

[meg “Yooper” bitchell @MeganBitchell]

Guy at work just cracked open the loudest Diet Coke and it made me turn my head and look at him and as he poured it into his mug he said “mating call…..”

[Allie Mayne♛ @alliemayne]

Kaelyn just asked if John Mulaney was the guy from “The Mask”

Jim Carrey.

[gianmarco @GianmarcoSoresi]

BARTENDER: how do you take it?

ME: personally

[Allie Mayne♛ @alliemayne]

I’m drinking a pineapple jalapeño margarita on a Friday afternoon,
Life ain’t awful.

[sixfootcandy @sixfootcandy]

Husband: *texting me* Any chance we can skip that dinner party tonight?

Me: *already in my pajamas* If that’s what you really want.

[Daddy Go Fish @daddygofish]

The lady in front of me at checkout had a bunch of hand-clipped coupons and paid with a check and it was pretty fun spending 45 minutes in 1984.