Allison Jarecki

[bald ann dowd @ali_sivi]

when i was younger i said i wouldn't get married until gay people could get married and it's like yeah girl that's actually gonna be a crucial law for you

[zane firehammer @killlikebutton]

My kid vapes but he’s only allowed the ones with no screen on it

[barrel rolls @barrel_rolls]

if i was on love island i’d dig a big hole cover it with leaves and just wait

[frick @gofrickurself]

They’re factory resetting me tomorrow

[tate @octatate]

when the inbound and outbound trains arrive at the same time i start clapping like a seal

[gex @severalbird]

when the weather is good we should celebrate the weather man and carry him around on our shoulders like a hero, but when the weather is bad well…we should beat his ass and kill him

[anna @hard_boiledbabe]

The stripper does love you she just has an avoidant attachment style

[rat_angel_ @rat_angel_]

New York City? You mean where they make the crosswords?

[@ratlimit @ratlimit]

People who back into parking spots cannot be truly present. You envisualized your departure the moment you arrived

[princessface @mainslayrrr]

can i come over and leave my hair all over the place

[temple runner @misscalcula]

the yesterday to today pipeline

[ppigg @s4m31p4n]

Are you sleeping in heavenly peace with other bitches yes or no

[ً @cryst6ls]

lmk if we’re going to the club so i can eat 2 chicken tenders

[Downloads @weedheartemoji]

checked my spotify wrapped. Lots of songs i like in here

[mousey ᘛ⁠⁐̤⁠ᕐ⁠ᐷ @HIBlSCUS]

life fucking sucks. one day you have tiramisu and then most other days you don’t. I hate that

[rina @urrrinal]

just came back from my walk and i was right bout everything

[+ @oliviersaidhi]

i b at the grocery store every time like dam what do i like to eat and drink

[sean @DilettanteryPod]

you don't get to act as judge judy and executioner

[mich @tvsilverscreen]

“thank god i’m a lesbian” i say, as i finish listening to tloasg

[Meg @megannn_lynne]

you can already be having a bad day then spotify curates you a playlist called “lunatic loner crazy girl crash out anthems”