Ally

[Ally @allystillman95]

@ZoeBurbridge @NoahKahan Messaged you!

[Ally @allystillman95]

It’s 2021, why can’t we leave video “voicemails” when our friends don’t answer our FaceTime calls...? @Apple

[Joe Biden @JoeBiden]

It’s a new day in America.

[Donovan Woods @DonovanWoods]

When I’m on the phone and another call comes in and I get those options like “end call, hold new call” or “hold and answer call, end new call”, I cannot parse that shit out and I panic.

[Ally @allystillman95]

@Lawn_mower11 Is super chill guy single, or?

[Read Raising Expectations (and Raising Hell) @JPHilllllll]

Chicago Mayor Lori Lightfoot agreed to let feds into Chicago. So this is the scene outside her house tonight.

[Ally @allystillman95]

@ReallyRoundtree STOP SMOKING CIGS

[Ally @allystillman95]

Okay I’m sorry.......Name ONE thing that couldn’t be fixed after 4-8 years of this. You can’t. Case closed, bring in the dancing lobsters.

[Ally @allystillman95]

@dabaddestwitch Oh my god let’s start it over from the beginning

[Ally @allystillman95]

I just want @samsmith to find love... I don't think that's too much to ask

[Mayor Guy Fieri @GuyFieri]

Me: Are tonight’s specials off the hook?
Waiter:

[Ally @allystillman95]

@captainopex Doooooo it!!!!!!!!!!

[HASHDAD @hashdad_]

My son wanted to show me his abc’s so it was only right that I rocked out with him.

[topo chica @heykater]

i would take a bullet for u #babyyoda

[XXXtina @dabaddestwitch]

Sometimes I google pics of the scholastic book fair just to feel something

[Brady @pebbut]

I request that this video be played for my funeral

[Big Tucson Dad @BigTucsonDad]

When the guy you’re just about to get over texts you “heyyy”

[Ally @allystillman95]

@ReallyRoundtree You should know this because my bday is 11/30 and it’s the last day of November and that should be all you’re thinking about all year long