amb

MWAH 💋

[amb @amberspucan]

@Budget I’d like a complete refund because having my money stolen has been an extremely expensive and rough experience.

[amb @amberspucan]

@Budget @Avis

[amb @amberspucan]

Men used to fight in wars now they’re unsending texts to you on Snapchat

[amb @amberspucan]

Men used to fight in wars and now they’re blocking you on letterboxd

[amb @amberspucan]

@VP That’s disturbing!

[amb @amberspucan]

What the fuck is a Cracker Barrel never even seen one so it’s gotta be a myth

[amb @amberspucan]

6x6=36 is a bar

[amb @amberspucan]

@snoopyscorner THANKS SNOOPYS CORNER YOUVE ME SO MUCH MONEY!!!!

[amb @amberspucan]

Should I put the jbl pulse on my balls and see what happens when I play edm?

[amb @amberspucan]

“Cigars smell like: Korean baby feet at the farm after they’ve gone to the zoo”

[amb @amberspucan]

why did i

[amb @amberspucan]

at my funeral i want everyone attending to snort my ashes (one line each, five lines if you wanna be in my will, the person who snorts the most ashes without throwing up receives all of my assets)

[amb @amberspucan]

i find it riveting

[amb @amberspucan]

taking a rhino pill for the irony

[amb @amberspucan]

twitter is the post-nut clarity of social media apps

[amb @amberspucan]

a natural evader of tough questions

[amb @amberspucan]

i can pull more hot bitches than he can bro why’d i date him

[amb @amberspucan]

sending risky texts at the high rise applebees in sf >