Andrew Borts

Nerd, Barbershopper, short attention span... uh.. Nerd, Barbershopper...

[Andrew Borts @andrewbytes]

@jrpsaki so… the only elections Donald Trump were elected were led by… Democrats. Two Democrat Vice Presidents certified his elections… 🤔

[Andrew Borts @andrewbytes]

@Rainmaker1973 Sir we landed the orbiter on Pluto’s moon, but we were off by the distance of half a hydrogen atom!
You are… FIRED!!!

[Andrew Borts @andrewbytes]

@TODAYshow “Mariska, can we talk about your sweet beau?” You know, husbands don’t get enough credit, how nice to compliment us for a change! “Isn’t it sweet?” It? Wait… BOW not… fine… my brain spelled that wrong… #LawAndOrderSVU

[Andrew Borts @andrewbytes]

@mariabamfoo @GalleryBooks @SimonBooks @SimonAudio @BNBuzz @amazonbooks I was listening to your book, and you described a car that doesn’t exist, sitting in my 2016 RAV4 Hybrid thinking, man if this car were available in 2015, I would have bought it…

[Andrew Borts @andrewbytes]

@BrentSpiner

[Andrew Borts @andrewbytes]

@GeorgeTakei To… shoot at people… I’d do that sure… FIRE IN THE HOLE! <bam>

[Andrew Borts @andrewbytes]

@UnfilteredSE HEY! I just saw a recent (today) interview! Please PLEASE PLEASE - Raise your soft palate & relax your tongue when you breathe! (listen to today's broadcast to understand...)
#JustTryingToHelp

[Andrew Borts @andrewbytes]

@PHXDevelopment @SethMacFarlane Wait… ITS ALL REAL?!? 😳

[Andrew Borts @andrewbytes]

@AmyShiraTeitel LOVE YOUR BOOK "FIGHTING FOR SPACE" (read by the author on Audible) (live!) but... per Scott Kelly's book Endurance, women's eyes aren't subject to vision issues when in space for long periods of time. So, the Mars missions may be personnel 100% by women!

[Andrew Borts @andrewbytes]

@AmyShiraTeitel @NASA @johnkrausphotos From Fort Lauderdale - at 1:47am my neighbors house was blocking me from seeing it... 😔

[Andrew Borts @andrewbytes]

@SenBillNelson @NASAWebb @NASAHubble With all due respect sir, we struck an asteroid - but... couldn't they retaliate and strike us? Couldn't we have negotiated with the asteroid first?

[Andrew Borts @andrewbytes]

@jordanklepper you have a vocal doppelgänger! Jamie Theakston from “forbidden history” - go… go listen… I’ll wait…

[Andrew Borts @andrewbytes]

@robreiner No, he does not. Imagine your wife’s hair falling out in clumps, and the ONLY way to give her any sort of dignity again is to shave it off. Now you’re the one holding the razor, and your wife is crying, and you’re crying while you hack off the thing that makes her feel beautiful.

[Andrew Borts @andrewbytes]

@missmayim someone posted on FB seems to be using your name/image to push a random product - how can I send you this info?

[Andrew Borts @andrewbytes]

Is it true that before “Star Wars, A New Hope” - @HamillHimself didn’t see a single Star Wars movie? Actors should research their roles! What would Skywalker do?!? I would have started with Empire Strikes Back ‘cause that’s where Luke has some incredible dramatic moments!

[Andrew Borts @andrewbytes]

@wilw do YOU see people posting
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on Facebook and think... "wow wasn't this the episode where the people who made the game tried to hijack the Enterprise using that popular game..."

[Andrew Borts @andrewbytes]

@brinks_home HELP why wasn't anyone assigned to install my alarm system that was scheduled to be installed today? It was scheduled but not assigned to a technician. HELP ME!

[Andrew Borts @andrewbytes]

Hey, I'll be in Wales and was wondering if @AFCRichmond will be playing at the new stadium in Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch?

[Andrew Borts @andrewbytes]

@Marina_Sirtis Wait wait wait... how about filming Star Trek:Troi next to Disneyworld!

[Andrew Borts @andrewbytes]

@GaryGulman Oh hey... uh... thinking about it, and... the timing... gosh... maybe your post was about... Bob in accounting...

[Andrew Borts @andrewbytes]

@GaryGulman I haven’t been to my office in months, so why now? I said I was sorry! So I ate your chobani! I love blueberry! You left it in my fridge and it would have gone bad! Do you check the dates before leaving the market? I mean, maybe you’re trying to poison me! Who’s the asshole now!