freakazoid

equal opportunity destroyer

[freakazoid @andybouchy]

My eyebrows are my children. I hate both of them for different reasons

[Circe @vocalcry]

My HOA is two weeks away from developing a nuclear weapon

[S.🎧 @1ssve]

one day you wake up and just stop wearing your Apple Watch

[Aki🏳️‍⚧️ @aki_st4rz3]

I can tell how someone truly feels about me by just making it up in my head

[. @emmasarchivee]

I'm sorry but seeing a man spit on the ground is the most disgusting thing ever

[★ @mira__joyce]

They should make a version of the hero's journey where it's just like Yayyyyyy

[Christopher @molochofficial]

I feel like everyone except for me has some innate, instinctive understanding of how to wear a beanie in a way that looks human and normal

[Your OG 🐩 @LRNROSE]

there is nothing tht u need to say work wise on Friday at 4:30 that you cant say on Monday

[Simon Sarris @simonsarris]

one problems with medicalization of language (eg 'anxiety') is that it lulls people into thinking they have unchangeable characteristics when in fact they can decide to get better at any time

[Bob Golen @BobGolen]

Dr Pepper is a fizzician.

[^_^ @misandrism]

Just put a potato in the oven so I can have a potato in an hour or so. And you’d be wise to do the same

[tara @proletarat]

I’ve successfully reduced Phone time by looking at Computer more

[Dan Carney @DanManCarney]

I hate myself for not uploading a 10 hour video of a fireplace or rain to YouTube a decade ago

[freakazoid @andybouchy]

God forbid I enter flow state while eating chips and salsa. I will become unrecognizable

[Cloudy 🌥️ (real angel) @oncloud_e]

do you ever pick a moment where you're like "i will remember this forever for no reason" and then you just do

[BON @Gresham2x]

women be 23 talking bout “I don’t have time for games” yes you do

[Noah Garfinkel @NoahGarfinkel]

I, unfortunately, was born without any interest in Avatar.

[charlie @chunkbardey]

i hate when ppl say stuff i can’t hear. it’s like what did you say??? i literally can’t hear you

[Harm Reduction Casino @HumpA_55]

I left stranger things back in 2022. I truly don’t care anymore good luck to them grown ass kids