4. *Clears throat*
Men in GA: If you really want to legislate deep in my ladyparts, KNOW THIS-
I am coming for your balls.
100% of pregnancies are caused by ejaculation, and I’m wholly prepared to sponsor a bill criminalizing that nut.
SAY I FUCKING WON’T.
-A bitch who will
overcompensate, v.: You bought me the watch you couldn’t afford not because you thought I would love it, but because you hadn’t been giving me enough time.
If I‘m off on a single number while on live TV, Republicans fly out screeching that I am unfit for office.
Yet when their buddy is credibly accused by multiple women of sexual assault, they rush to promote him to the Supreme Court.
Just another day for women in the workplace.
ordinary, adj.: I knew it was love when I could find joy just by walking beside you, by reading next to you on the couch, by hearing your footsteps and the pause before you knocked.
Them: How's your day been?
Me: Well I got two mosquito bites on my face and found out that it's going to cost $12,548 to have my ovary removed. So, probably not great.