Anonymously EMS

my sense of humor is frowned upon in normal circles

[𝐀𝐧𝐧𝐨𝐲𝐞𝐝 𝐃𝐢𝐬𝐩𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐫 🫠 @annoyedispatchr]

In case anyone was wondering how my morning is going, I have a horrible headache, I'm out of coffee, and I left my keys in a friends car.

[LordHaveMursey @WildTurkah]

So tired of people saying LIKE and LITERALLY all the time. They say these words several times in a sentence. Like literally stop it.

[the hype @TheHyyyype]

[first day in gang]

LEADER: ya gotta be street-smart

ME: oh i am

LEADER: prove it

ME: *names every street in city*

LEADER: holy shit

[𝐀𝐧𝐧𝐨𝐲𝐞𝐝 𝐃𝐢𝐬𝐩𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐫 🫠 @annoyedispatchr]

I apparently put off this aura that only attracts insane/clingy people to hit on me.

[𝐀𝐧𝐧𝐨𝐲𝐞𝐝 𝐃𝐢𝐬𝐩𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐫 🫠 @annoyedispatchr]

If you're attending #StPatricksDay  festivities please don't drive intoxicated you can either call a Uber or a friend or your grandma.

[Anonymously EMS @anonymously_ems]

Pt: Your hot
Me: No

[Doug Bies @dougbies]

I like long, romantic walks away from women that try catching the bouquet at weddings

[Nestlé US @NestleUSA]

We're so proud to be @FortuneMagazine's #1 Most Admired Consumer Food Company https://t.co/6YZfK2YqjL

[Mike Chitwood @SheriffChitwood]

He's not in any trouble. Not going to Hose a guy for being Pumped to get back to work https://t.co/QbpJClkLMA

[the hype @TheHyyyype]

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why did the pigeon shit on my head? The point is that the motivations of birds are unknowable.

[NoFilter 911 @NoFilter911]

Day 2 of dayshift: I haven't throat punched anybody yet.

[EMT Problems @LifeOfEMTProbs]

When dispatch isn't letting you post at any of the 8 hospitals that are in district...

[EMT Problems @LifeOfEMTProbs]

Starting a petition to make medical personnel get tear drop tattoos for every patient they kill

[EDgnome @ERgnome]

Doc:"What's ur weight?"
Pt:"350"
Doc:"Ma'am, ur clearly over 350"
Pt:""That's where my scale ends so that's what I tell ppl"
😂😂😂😂

[Dispatch911 @Disp_911]

Waiting on the Nor'easter to get here. #teamnightshift #itsgonnapukesnow

[Anonymously EMS @anonymously_ems]

What? You mean your almost off your shift. This call will be quick 😭🔫
At least buy me dinner first dispatch