Psych Med(ness)

Yes, I'm a resident in Psychiatry. No, I can't read your thoughts. No, I wouldn't even want to.

[Psych Med(ness) @anvsony]

I'm "the five second rule used to be three second rule" old.

[Psych Med(ness) @anvsony]

When you don't remember if your shirt's in the laundry because it is peed/pooped/thrown up on, or just by mistake, so you go ahead and start smelling it. #justmomthings

[Psych Med(ness) @anvsony]

@ebeisel34 I'm sorry for all the hate you are getting. Yes, it was an ugly move, but it's now ruining all your journey in #survivor. I've watched ponderosa, and it hurts me to know that those fun times are now must be feeling pretty different for you. If Kellee could forget, so should we.

[Tony P. @Tbone7219]

Good thing about cold season is getting to say, "I have a cold, you may want to stay away" instead of "get the fuck away from me,I hate you."

[Dan Regan @DanRegan_Comedy]

Me - The only difference between a regular sandwich and a club sandwich is one extra slice of bread.

Therapist - I meant what is something in your personal life that annoys you?

ME - One...slice.

(throws away his sandwich)

Therapist - Let's move on.

[Swedish Canary 🇺🇸🇸🇪 @SwedishCanary]

Dear Santa,
I would like a thin body and a fat bank account and don’t mix it up like you did last year.

[Charlie Alzamora @chalzamora]

I have a better understanding of Chinese philosophy than Japanese. I wish I knew Zen what I know Tao.

[Jon @ArfMeasures]

God *creates a worm* hello little buddy!

Worm: Thanks for the "worm" welcome haha

God *creates birds*

[Michael D.A. Clarke @MichaelDAClarke]

What could possibly go wrong?!!

[Lindsay @Rollinintheseat]

*ABBA visits art gallery*

“Monet, Monet, Monet, Monet.”

[Jon @ArfMeasures]

[Concert]
Singer: This next song is just for you cool people!

Everyone: YEEEAAAHHH!!

Singer *looks at me*

Me: *putting earplugs in* yeah one sec

[Swedish Canary 🇺🇸🇸🇪 @SwedishCanary]

OK, I'm going to confess... Its been bothering my conscience for more than a decade now and I need to get it off my chest... I let the dogs out.

[#LifeofaMedStudent @LifeofMedstudnt]

When you feel super useful on clinical rotations.... #LifeofaMedStudent

[#LifeofaMedStudent @LifeofMedstudnt]

Thanks for the helpful tip! #NoPressure #LifeofaMedStudent

[Marcmywords @Marcmywords2]

There's 2 types of people in this world, people who give 110%, and the people who passed 4th grade math.

[Darlin’ Darla @Darlainky]

My husband’s idea of romance is holding the door open for me without saying hurry up.

[Spencer @13spencer]

I bet the hardest part of being a vampire is finding humans to feed on who aren’t completely gross.

[Lindsay @Rollinintheseat]

When Johnny Depp eats a meal, he scarfs it down.