Cheryl Collins

What I dislike most about Twitter is finishing a good tweet, having -1 characters left and having to decide which grammar crime to commit!

[Darla Orozco @IqKovershina98]

I named my penis "The Truth" because bitches can't handle it.

[Cheryl Collins @apujaDorr]

Dear YouTube, I will always Skip this ad."

[Cheryl Collins @apujaDorr]

Me + Mathematics = Syntax error.

[Cheryl Collins @apujaDorr]

"No, son. I'm married."

[Veronica Gall @Stelmashuk2016]

Please do not steal, the IRS hates competition.

[Cheryl Collins @apujaDorr]

Leonardo DiCaprio never died in Titanic. Last scene: Him going underwater. First Scene in Inception: him waking up on a beach.

[Carolyn Williams @DanyukovaLona]

I don't care how funny something is, if I don't like you, I'm not laughing ....

[Cheryl Collins @apujaDorr]

I am always right even when I am right about being wrong.

[Becky Castile @vanyutina1983]

My parents accused me of being a liar. I looked them straight in the eye and said, "Tooth Fairy, Santa Clause..." & walked away like a boss.

[Cheryl Collins @apujaDorr]

Saying, "OH YEAH I REMEMBER" when you really don't.

[Cheryl Collins @apujaDorr]

"You've changed" Ummmm actually I think the proper term is "I've stopped trying to please you."

[Priscilla Holman @bakhishevavita1]

Liking a Facebook status that is clearly about you, because you're a fearless bastard.

[Cheryl Collins @apujaDorr]

*Browsing Facebook* *See's bitchy status* 78 COMMENTS! *Gets popcorn* This is gonna be good.

[Cheryl Collins @apujaDorr]

Don't steal. That's the government's job.

[Patricia Cobbins @munzhiya]

Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now shut up, they're about to announce the lottery numbers.

[Cheryl Collins @apujaDorr]

God said, Ask me and Ill make nations your inheritance and earths extremities your possession - Psalm 2:8

[Cheryl Collins @apujaDorr]

To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

[Cheryl Collins @apujaDorr]

When I say the other day, it can mean any time from yesterday to 364 days ago.