Alex📼

Long live the new flesh.
Keep circulating the tapes.
Many other functions.

[neopussyboi @forcedmasc]

From what I have come to understand there is a show that is like if ‘I Have No Mouth And I Must Scream’ and ‘Steven Universe’ were the same text

[Dank Starkiller @Dank_Starkiller]

Leavin work on Friday night

[Alex📼 @ArthriticJester]

summer is going to feel like this

[21st Century Spielberg @Spielberg2K]

Tobe Hooper, a dog, and Steven Spielberg on the set of POLTERGEIST, 1982

[Mark @AgingRanchHand]

There was a guy on Jeopardy! last week whose personal anecdote was just that he loves watching cool slam dunk videos online

[fact pervert @robot_rock]

One time at a hc show the singer told me to "kill my entire family Chris Benoit style"

[Dylan @notnotdylm]

mf on jeopardy thought the huffington post broke the news of lincoln's assassination

[nick usen @nickusen]

“Look I uh I found something. Something in the store. A place. bu but It uh it shouldn’t be there. But it is. Dontcha see? look I…I know how this this sounds, but It’s uh it’s MAssive in there.”

[Nude Gunray @Nude_Gunray]

"I'm about to fucking cum!"

[Armin @ArrminEm]

I’ve done acid more times than I had cottage cheese

[Fart Corvelay @Mark_Cam_3]

saw a guy wearing a heavy metal tshirt that had a zombie on it. I wasn’t scared, though, i know it’s just ink on a cotton polyester blend

[chrißy @chribdotnet]

hey can we slow down

[Drew Beringer @drewberinger]

Imagine being told in 1998 “yah weezer will release 18 more albums”

[Dr_Mafoony @dr_mafoony]

My one contribution to the Escape From New York remake discourse

[Blake ™ @NeilNevins]

You never saw this shameless behavior from a Mr. Randy Newman, I can tell you that much.

[simon 🦕🛸 @dinogummysaur]

homosexuals LOVE bruce campbell!!!

[katie @anaphylactica]

i think the whitest kids u know should reform and call themselves new order

[august @regularaugust]

“Ok so this tweet says: ‘white people be like I got my dad into Coil’.”

(My friend who is hospitalized and slowly losing his eyesight) “hey thanks man. I really appreciate you reading these to me.”