™

[PUNS @ThePunnyWorld]

Scientists have concluded a study on how alcohol can affect a person’s ability to walk.

The results are staggering.

[™ @Ash13OO]

@nbarrowman I wonder if the advice was "retain big firms, cut the little consultants."

[™ @Ash13OO]

@reynoldsgareth My cat would be so happy if I stayed with him on the couch all day.

[™ @Ash13OO]

@ginnyhogan_ It was so wonderful to learn of all the laws I had yet to break.

[™ @Ash13OO]

@SigmaActivity Yeah, absolutely. Every law school exam I took was open book.

[™ @Ash13OO]

@PhilosophyMttrs Teleport

Worried about the side effects of the others.

[™ @Ash13OO]

@3YearLetterman @JustinTrudeau 🇨🇦 sorry 🇨🇦

[™ @Ash13OO]

@3YearLetterman One of the few reasons I keep coming back to this website.

[™ @Ash13OO]

@LizerReal Nice, welcome aboard!!! 🇨🇦

[™ @Ash13OO]

@MartinPilgrim1 @AnneHatfieldVO I actually have a red dentist shirt.

Helps cover up the blood splatters.

[™ @Ash13OO]

@greg_jenner Can't wait!

[™ @Ash13OO]

@thedad I prefer "hanging out with the short, freeloading roommates."

[™ @Ash13OO]

@DanielPink Face time is key. It's important for people to see that you're always in the office and dedicated.

Nonsense.

Performance and being basically pleasant matter. Plus, if you're perceived as working twice as much as others and delivering the same results, 😬. Go home. Have fun.

[™ @Ash13OO]

@greg_jenner And it arrived!

And he loves it!!!

[™ @Ash13OO]

@LizerReal Fantastic! For a bit of added dramatic flair (and maybe plausibility for small children), my mother in law used to claim she could discern lying through a tongue inspection. 🤣

"Ah yes, I can see a hint of green on your tongue which means LIES!"

[™ @Ash13OO]

@jamieloftusHELP Done!

[™ @Ash13OO]

@ginnyhogan_ "AJ Rimmer", ... solid name. Classic even.

[™ @Ash13OO]

@TheDailyShow @DesiLydic So funny. There have been quite a few amazing temp hosts, but she's been the best yet.