ash

[Massimo @Rainmaker1973]

A seal accidentally pops up and scares a polar bear cub while it was happily making snowballs

[yimika. @yimikaaaa]

Please do not learn to be normal about your romantic feelings. They are supposed to render you abnormal. You are meant to be deranged by them.

[willeon smitsky @goalietaps]

c!s women having the option of almost complete agency over whether or not they get pregnant is one of the most miraculous innovations of modern medicine. your opinion is about as conservative you can get, it’s just wrapped in woke vernacular

[wicked wigger of the west @Nick_Cerveza]

He has a warriors heart and you can never take that from him

[Ꮍᴀᴇʟ @elle91]

Me: "Don't you dare" sounds perfectly normal but "do not you dare" sounds ridiculous which is insane because "don't" is a contraction for "do not."

Doctor: I meant is anything bothering you physically

[Certified gayBob @certifiedgay69]

sorry i Can’t hangout my clothes look fucking stupid on me

[anj @bxnksii]

really don’t trust people obsessed with hustle culture, soulless vibes

[Skurt Vonnegut @ThisLocalHater]

If you were mine, I'd wake you up every morning with the smell of freshly exploded hot dogs in the microwave

[Godfrey @godfrey_von]

digimon
*gigantic bong rip*
digital monsters

[Zarak @zzarakkk]

One of the best ways to tell you're locked in is by your verbal fluency. Another way is if you can guess what the time is at any point in the day within a 10 minute range (without looking at a clock/phone). So if you find yourself struggling to remember words, or you feel like your vocabulary has shrunk, or you struggle to tie points together, or you can't accurately guess the time without a clock... you need to fix something. Nutrition, sleep, start meditating, etc.

[minie⁷ ⊙⊝⊜🪭 @roundieluv]

@mahrugarita that one quote abt father and daughter bonding by making fun of the mother

[taylor @mnlightsyndrome]

i have a strong propensity for googling stuff. had some salad and one of the leaves had a tiny bug on it and i just googled”bugs on my veggies” with no clear goal in mind and it felt so good as i was typing it into the search bar

[computer @computerforever]

I don’t think summer is ending soon. I think this summer is going to be a little longer, they’re adding a little extra summer this year I’m sure of it… they’re doing it Because I still have some things to do in the summer. But it’s a secret, this is just between you and me

[The Ick @endliste]

2 HOURS BEFORE BEDTIME:
I'm so tired. I can't wait to sleep later. I can't do anything

3 HOURS AFTER BEDTIME:
(imagining learning how to play guitar) ☝️I m going to write a song to heal the world

[ranger @djrangertrucco]

Imagine the post festival heart-to-heart you’d have with SpongeBob if you guys rolled together

[🌋 @hum_dunkin]

It was a forgone concluge bro

[pinkie @pinkamaniaa]

does anyone know what the first step of unlearning shame is. please say substance abuse

[alexa @alexamazov]

you’ll be in the worst financial position of your life then run out of shampoo

[ash @ashcroll]

:/

[Reductress @Reductress]

Oh No! Outgoing Friend Talking to Weird Strangers at Bar

[horse powder @JuliusIrvington]

Just wrapped a present myself and I’m pretty sure I have a learning disability