Internet Tweet Man

do not dumb here

[Internet Tweet Man @assvest]

@pixelatedboat @mountain_goats

Me too also as well like the best ever death metal band out of Denton. Thanks for sharing.

[Internet Tweet Man @assvest]

@AndyRichter pussy

[Internet Tweet Man @assvest]

Every new Star Wars movie I see I'm even more convinced that C3-PO is a total fembot. #starwars #riseofskywalker

[Jose Canseco @JoseCanseco]

Dam baseball is awesome love to hit that ball

[Jenny Johnson @JennyJohnsonHi5]

I wish Chip and Joanna Gaines would come over and beat the shit out of me.

[Internet Tweet Man @assvest]

My wife... So lovely this morning #SeekingSisterWife

[rob delaney @robdelaney]

My wife just asked me if I wanted to make love.

Nice try babe, not on 9/11.

[Internet Tweet Man @assvest]

Guys, did you know that the Little Caesars mobile app is also a dating app? #AmericanWomanTV

[Internet Tweet Man @assvest]

Papa Johns came up with the cheeseburger pizza idea while making love to Mama Johns in a Burger King bathroom.

[Internet Tweet Man @assvest]

Guys. Really getting geared up for my vapecation. More to come

[Internet Tweet Man @assvest]

I come back now football over. Also I'm in need of immediate child care over next several months...

[Internet Tweet Man @assvest]

@assvest p

[steve suckington @SteveSuckington]

It's like my dad used to always say,

"Liquor before beer, have no fear.
Beer before liquor, that works too"

He was an alcoholic.

[Internet Tweet Man @assvest]

@loupus I let my son, Zelda Roboflame, name himself and dress himself. Is that good parent? I also had to buy him 2 samurai swords today bc he made a poopy in the potty and not in my van again.

[Internet Tweet Man @assvest]

Freestyle taco fiesta #GoldenGlobes

[Christin @hexprax]

What is the biggest animal you can think of? The aardvark?? You fool… you absolute imbecile. You moron. Even a simple Cow is bigger. You make me sick

[Internet Tweet Man @assvest]

I don't understand. And why? #TheFour

[Dr. Bucky Isotope, PhD Bioplasticity @BuckyIsotope]

Does Jesus know he was born during Toyotathon

[Internet Tweet Man @assvest]

@Lexus commercials are good reminders that most people don't have enough money to buy a new car.