Aylycia

[ً @artfuIchaos]

someone once told me “emotional intelligence is the discipline of sitting with a feeling long enough to understand it before you hand it to someone else” and that honestly changed how i move.

[Allie ✞ @allie__voss]

Under-socialized people can quickly become convinced they’re more complex than they actually are

Endlessly focusing on yourself and your interests makes you assume everyone else is “normie” and shallow simply because you don’t know them well enough

[Marie-Agnes Strack-Zimmermann @MAStrackZi]

Man kann beim Thema Leihmutterschaft sehr unterschiedlicher Meinung sein. Wer aber als Minister die Leihmutterschaft in Deutschland stets abgelehnt hat, sich dann aber dank Status und Vermögen über den Umweg USA selbst über dieses Verbot hinwegsetzt, ist schlicht ein Heuchler. Jens Spahn ist als Politiker und CDU/CSU-Fraktionsvorsitzender untragbar.

[Johann Kurtz @JohannKurtz]

https://t.co/TqtDrW0D8X

[Patrick Kidd @patrick_kidd]

And so the World Cup final will be between two teams who couldn’t beat Cape Verde in 90 minutes.

[Aylycia @aylycia]

@selentelechia According to my mom this happens quite naturally, mother nature's built-in re-boot with some nice selective editing

[Tyler is finishing a book, slow to reply @TylerAlterman]

We spoke to a famous influencer today. Someone asked him how the AI safety scene can improve. He said something like "they can stop smelling the same as the people who are making AI."

...by which I took him to mean that they can differentiate themselves by being unmistakably human-maxxing, which starts not from caring about "humanity" (that's an abstract concept) but from caring about *your own idiosyncratic subjectivity*

If you love "humanity" and can't connect with your own unique soul or others', then you don't love humanity, you love a linguistic construct, and you have already become the machine.

[‎ ‎ ‎ ⊹ @sighswoon]

Once upon a time the internet felt bigger than the real world. A ton of windows expanding your view. Now it’s the opposite. A single friend group is far more complex than a global comment section. And there’s a reason for this. Internet used to feel like real people sharing their real lives. Now it’s a sort of hall of ghosts. These ghosts can be opinions formed off dead data , spoken through the voice of real people. A kind of haunting, shallow breeze from yesteryear. It could be passing feelings that are no longer felt by the individual, or even remembered. The simple sensation of simply ~not knowing at all what or who someone is, or where they’re speaking from~ may be the most dead feeling of all. Mystery on the internet is different than mystery in nature. Mystery in nature points to God. Mystery online points to a hole

[Aylycia @aylycia]

@JunkMail165533 @KeturahAbigail Seems like genetics might have played a hand here and in all likelihood these kids would have turned out exactly the same had they gone to public school 🤷🏽‍♀️

[sachenverlierer @sachenverlierer]

37 Kilometer deutscher Existenzialismus

Man muss dem Menschen seine Illusionen lassen. Manche glauben an die Liebe, manche an den Fortschritt und manche an die Deutsche Bahn.

Ich hatte mir Zeit genommen. Das war mein erster Fehler.

Von Koblenz nach Mayen. Mit der Bahn 40 Minuten. Siebenunddreißig Kilometer. Eine Strecke, die ein mittelmäßig motivierter Radfahrer möglicherweise schneller bewältigt hätte.

Die erste Verbindung fiel aus.

Das Wort klingt bereits verdächtig friedlich. Ausfallen. Als hätte der Zug leichtes Fieber und würde heute besser im Bett bleiben.

Nun gut, dachte ich. Man muss flexibel sein. Das ist die Lieblingsforderung aller Systeme, die selbst zu nichts mehr fähig sind.

Also eine Stunde warten.

Ich ging eine Bratwurst essen. Für mich ist die Bratwurst längst kein Lebensmittel mehr, sondern eine Überlebensstrategie.

Die Alternativverbindung hatte Verspätung.

Das überraschte mich nicht. Im Gegenteil. Es hätte mich beunruhigt, wäre sie pünktlich gewesen. Man entwickelt nach einiger Zeit eine Art umgekehrtes Vertrauen. Die Enttäuschung wird zur einzigen verlässlichen Konstante.

Dann kam der Zug.

RE.

Regional-Express.

Das E stand dort wie eine Beleidigung.

Express.

Ein Wort, das vermutlich aus einer Zeit stammt, als Menschen noch glaubten, Sprache müsse etwas mit der Wirklichkeit zu tun haben.

Auf der Anzeige stand: Mayen Ost.

Genau dort wollte ich hin.

Ein Wunder.

Ich stieg ein, verschob meinen Termin telefonisch nach hinten und begann entspannt E Mails zu lesen. In Deutschland plant man inzwischen seine Termine nach Wahrscheinlichkeiten und nicht mehr nach Uhrzeiten.

Dann ertönte die Stimme des Zugbegleiters.

Diese Stimme. Freundlich, neutral und völlig losgelöst von jeder Schuld.

"Bitte beachten Sie, dieser Zug fährt heute nicht nach Mayen Ost. Dieser Zug endet in Hintertupfingen. Bitte alle aussteigen."

Es gibt Sätze, die die gesamte Kultur eines Landes zusammenfassen.

Ich saß da und dachte: Faszinierend.

Nicht einmal der Zug weiß, wohin er fährt.

Die Bahn ist die erste Institution, die den Postmodernismus vollständig verwirklicht hat.

Das Ziel ist nur noch eine Empfehlung.

Die Realität wird während der Fahrt verhandelt.

Und wir steigen gehorsam aus.

Mit Rucksack, Aktentasche und Restwürde.

Niemand protestiert. Niemand schreit. Niemand wirft etwas um.
Mein Jähzorn schaut mir erwartungsvoll über die Schulter.

Wir stehen nur da und schauen aufeinander wie Schiffbrüchige, die sich aus irgendeinem Grund Fahrkarten gekauft haben.

In diesem Moment verstand ich etwas über Deutschland.

Es ist kein Land mehr.

Es ist ein gigantischer Warteraum mit gastronomischer Versorgung und jeder Menge Taubenscheisse.

[blue @bluewmist]

There is a very specific female fatigue that comes from knowing exactly what is happening, explaining exactly what is happening, being told you are overreacting, and then watching exactly what is happening happen with excellent punctuality.

[VEO @vrexec]

Choosing violence this morning

$250-300k comp in the US is the same as €70-90k comp in most of Europe

[Anna Gát @TheAnnaGat]

I find this push to make women have kids in their early 20s irresponsible. I recall the women of my mother's generation who were left by their men and now completely exposed single moms with no career, money, or romantic prospects, often moving in with their elderly parents -- that insane imbalance between the genders even wider -- and that there is a reason why women want to do all this later when they are more economically independent, and thus equal. People who don't understand this don't understand how real life works, and what the real contingencies are in people's private and professional lives.

[🕊️ @lichthauch]

There is a three year old somewhere right now squatting in a cold puddle with mud up his forearms and snot running into his mouth, screaming at nothing. he will bite his sister in twenty minutes and cry for an hour after because she bit him back. he will lose his favourite toy in some wet grass and grieve it like a death. by nighttime he will have lived more honestly than most grown men manage in thirty years. and somewhere in a clean room with expensive candles and a view of some mountain, a grown adult who paid four thousand to sit on a cushion for a week is begging his own nervous system to produce what that kid got for free by falling face first into a thorn bush

[Rituparna Chatterjee @MasalaBai]

I saw a reel where a woman said "where are the trad wives who are 40, 50 years old? Why aren't they making these barefoot in the kitchen videos? Why is it always a 20 something year old?" Every woman knows the answer.

[Klara @klara_sjo]

I've said it before, but it bears reiterating: In the 1800s, the world was so much more diverse.

You could be chased through a spice market by scimitar wielding Arabs, get captured by bone-in-the-nose African cannibals, be adopted by the samurai, fight injuns in the Wild West, attend the high courts of Europe, bushwhack through South America, or build a railroad through Abo country in Australia.

Now all the world is T-shirts, flipflops, and iPhones.

Imagine the sheer potentiality of ADVENTURE just six generations ago and weep.

[claudia ! @letclaudiatweet]

this is not the diplomatic move if you are a hot popular girl vulnerably approached by a nervous nerdy girl whose husband is inappropriately enamored with you.

the diplomatic move is to start subtly ice-queening the husband (but not so blatantly as to cause drama) and acting warmly towards the girl.

all other moves are open aggression, which can be strategically correct, but certainly are not “post receipts on the timeline to be vindicated” moves

so is this autism, or am I just southern and not competent in San Francisco Womanese?

[QC @QiaochuYuan]

this was already true before LLMs but at this point you really should not think of social media as a place where individual people go to express their opinions. the algorithm defines an optimization target (engagement) and people and LLMs work together to optimize it. we have built a machine for inferring what the audiences of different platforms want to see and hear and extruding textslop and imageslop and videoslop conforming to the shape of that desire as quickly and efficiently as possible

when you read a viral post you think you are reading the thoughts of a person. you are reading the thoughts of the algorithm. out of the churning mass of nonsense constantly being posted, that specific post was selected to ascend to virality by an evolutionary process, and that process is the actual agent in the situation. the individual author barely matters, we are simply approximating the infinite monkey theorem here. at this point it barely even matters whether the author was technically human or an LLM, LLMs are just an additional source of monkeys

[Tiago Forte @fortelabs]

We welcomed our third child, Ángel, to the family a month ago, and he and mom are healthy and doing great

I wanted to share some notes and observations specifically about the transition from 2 to 3 kids, for posterity:

1. The jump from 2 to 3 kids is very clearly the frontier of modern family life. At 2, people's comments are along the lines of "Yeah makes sense, the family starter pack is complete." At 3, it's more like "Whoa! You're really going for it!" And this applies both to the US and Mexico, which I'd say is much more family-friendly. 3 represents a kind of familial ambition, a desire to go beyond the pale.

2. A lot of people have commented that this particular shift is the biggest one, because "they now outnumber you," which is true. But I think a more important reason is that you can now no longer take turns. With two, one of you can hang out or play with them for awhile, and then you switch. This is actually easier to do than with one, because they entertain each other to some extent. But now that's over – the minute I'm done playing with the two older ones, I get handed the baby!

3. It's been MUCH easier for both of us this time around, compared to the previous two. For many reasons: we're older and more experienced, we have more help living in Mexico, and we're not so anxious and fearful of every little thing. To the extent this trend is true for others, it makes me wonder if by having fewer kids, we overestimate how hard it is to raise them, simply because first kids are harder, causing us to overweight that experience.

4. We had 3 different birth experiences – first in a US hospital, second at home in the US with a licensed midwife, and third at home in Mexico with a traditional midwife. It's hard to describe how utterly different each one was. The hospital was so cold, mechanical, bureaucratic, and was constantly trying to scare us into doing things (such as triple feeding, because supposedly the baby's weight was dropping too much). We vastly preferred giving birth at home and would recommend it to anyone who can. Especially the trad'l way – every moment was so beautiful, thoughtful, spiritual. Everything was a ritual or a ceremony, something we've really forgotten in the industrialized world.

5. It's amazing to see how quickly you rise to the occasion as a parent, and reset your standards of what is hard. Before Ángel arrived, I often found spending long stretches of time with the first two to be exhausting. I'd need hours to recover. But the moment he arrived, taking care of two instantly feels easy! Because now I know what it's like to watch three. Everything's relative, and there's even a way in which having fewer is harder, because they demand more of your attention individually. My productivity is also soaring, I feel like, because every moment of focus time is so much more precious, there's zero time for procrastination, delay, or lack of clarity.

6. It’s fascinating to watch how the arrival of a new family member completely changes the dynamics of the family. Certain kinds of attention suddenly become scarce which causes a kind of restructuring of the internal attention economy of the family. Everyone starts to try out different strategies for getting what they want and need, like pretending to be a baby, or trying to be more helpful, or throwing tantrums. Everyone is trying to find their new place in the system, including me. It's fascinating.

7. I see many of my generation not interested in having kids, and I can clearly see that starting a family is well on its way to becoming a highly specialized lifestyle niche, like owning horses or living on a boat. Rather than a default life path for everyone, it's becoming one you have to pursue very intentionally and proactively, at significant cost, and with unavoidable tradeoffs. I think this will ultimately be good for children, as a higher % of them will be raised by parents who enthusiastically wanted them. But I do fear for us, the potential parents, as there are many many positive impacts of becoming a parent that are hard to attain in other ways.

All considered, having children has been by far the most rewarding and profound experience of my life. I don't think we talk about this enough. It's easier to complain and commiserate, but it is THE grandest, most epic adventure I could have ever imagined. Even the worst parts are among my most precious memories. Highly recommended!