Phteven

the price is on the can tho

[Phteven @baconflavoring]

if I went to Outback Steakhouse by myself tonight and asked for a table for 2, then got progressively sadder as the night went on alone, do you think they’d give me my steak for free?

[Phteven @baconflavoring]

i have always, am currently, and will always rock with Willson Contreras

[Tim Healey @timbhealey]

More Willson Contreras: "It's been a really tough week, emotional week for me. I hope that they understand how emotional it has been, and I'll prove myself with my actions on the field from here moving forward and show the kind of person that I truly am."

[Phteven @baconflavoring]

@federalbaseball he didn’t have the power these guys did but 2014 Denard Span was locked in in a crazy way too

[Phteven @baconflavoring]

@thevoiceofevan Contreras also got on instagram during the game like minutes after he was tossed and told a fan to come fight him at Fenway 😂😂 you have to respect that level of insanity

[Phteven @baconflavoring]

@FinsNats94 @spencernusbaum_ “oh, so I only miss one start and he misses 7? cool. thanks!”

[Phteven @baconflavoring]

@FinsNats94 @spencernusbaum_ thankfully they don’t serve suspensions on paper

[Phteven @baconflavoring]

@FinsNats94 @spencernusbaum_ he’s a starting pitcher so it’s absolutely not the same suspension

[Phteven @baconflavoring]

@MarkZuckerman @spencernusbaum_ my parents are fighting even though we’re winning!!!

[Phteven @baconflavoring]

@MrGrande5 @DragonflyJonez so if you have a good enough life you’re not allowed to grieve tragic events of your past?

[Phteven @baconflavoring]

@MrGrande5 @DragonflyJonez have you ever seen Jay make a joke about the lowest point in his life? if there was something in your life that was too low for even you to joke about with friends, would you be confortable with a work colleague joking about it on live TV?

[Phteven @baconflavoring]

@DragonflyJonez @MrGrande5 me after I make a joke to Batman about his parents getting murdered

“bro that happened so long ago lighten up???”

[Phteven @baconflavoring]

@dougherty_jesse @MarkZuckerman I think I’m showing Nats bias but the late september five game sweep felt like it was a big one, and the Phillies technically were in playoff contention (though probably not if you asked most fans)

still, that five game sweep (and the Turner grand slam in game 3) was ELECTRIC

[Phteven @baconflavoring]

@upperwestbruin @DragonflyJonez hard to kill a franchise that’s been dead for most of 50 years

[Phteven @baconflavoring]

@PaulCubbage23 are we ready to retract this

[Phteven @baconflavoring]

@serious_jammage people forget it only took one mid level high A prospect to get Daniel Hudson

[Phteven @baconflavoring]

@dougherty_jesse @spencernusbaum_ you’re Strasburg, Spencer is Scherzer, and @chelsea_janes is Daniel Hudson

[Phteven @baconflavoring]

@dougherty_jesse @spencernusbaum_ this was like watching Scherzer and Strasburg win the 2019 wild card game

[Phteven @baconflavoring]

@CespedesBBQ Nats bullpen could do this anywhere

[Phteven @baconflavoring]

@kgriffinburner6 you need a backup catcher. 2014 Russell Martin or late 00s Ryan Doumit?

[Phteven @baconflavoring]

@devileggos this is very George Michael Bluth

“Three. Unless three is too much of an improvement. I’m sorry, is one...is one still in the mix?”